


Everything Faded

by betaadamantium



Series: Heart's Blood [1]
Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, F/M, Female Protagonist, Original Character(s), POV Original Character, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-08
Updated: 2011-10-08
Packaged: 2017-10-24 10:18:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 32,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/262368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/betaadamantium/pseuds/betaadamantium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Logan has spent the last few years trying to avoid attachments. Teva lost her way when she was outed as a mutant. You can fight all you want but sooner or later your heart is going to decide for you. Part One of the Heart's Blood series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The very first time I wrote this fic, in a different form, was back in 2003 or 2004 (long enough ago that the date is fuzzy). At any rate, Teva Lawson and her powerset were the same then as now. I bring this up only because of the fact that her powerset, not to mention her general physical appearance, happens to be very similar to that of Hope Summers. Hope was brought into the X-Men 616-verse at the beginning of 2008 in the second volume of X-Men #205.
> 
> I don't believe that Marvel "stole" my idea because that's ludicrous and delusional. I *do*, however, want to make clear that I didn't swipe the idea, either.
> 
> As this is an AU of Earth-616 (the main Marvel universe from comics), I should note a few differences. Majorly, Logan never lost his adamantium to Magneto; "House of M" has not happened so Logan has not regained his memories (at least not until the second fic in the Heart's Blood series, "Deceptive Memory"); there's really no grand unrequited love between Logan and Jean. It's not in an effort to cast Jean poorly, or to be a whiny fangirl screaming "LOGAN CAN ONLY LOVE MY OFC!", but because it always read awkwardly to me and made Logan seem like a simpering fool. I maintain their loving friendship, but that's all it is.
> 
> One last thing: If you'd like a real-life representation of what Teva looks like, please check out the RP tumblr I have for her, which has pictures (Lzzy Hale of Halestorm is her PB): [Link](http://echo-the-beat.tumblr.com/gallery).
> 
>  _~text~_ denotes telepathic speech

They say that money can't buy happiness, but in large quantities and coupled with alcohol, it can drown out a lot of pain, at least for a time. The one thing it can't do is protect you from being hated.

Teva Lawson had learned to fill the void inside from being different from others. It wasn't the color of her hair or her skin, her nationality or her religion, that set her apart, what would make people fear and hate her if they knew her secret, and she was one of the lucky ones. It wasn't obvious that she was a mutant.

At 14, right after Christmas in her third year of secondary, she'd woken up one day with a blistering headache that kept her in bed for the better part of three days. When it had finally let up she found that being around large groups of people triggered further headaches and suddenly she could feel emotions from others, almost as strongly as she felt her own, and she could project her emotions onto others. It was a terrifying discovery but one she kept to herself.

There had already been whispered accounts of other children manifesting strange abilities, though at that point the word 'mutant' hadn't become common vernacular, at least not in Perth, Scotland. With time she was able to control it, keep it from controlling her, and she made it all the way through secondary with good marks.

Her mutant ability fueled her musical talent. She'd been writing lyrics in notebooks ever since she was a child, started putting them to music the moment she got her hands on a piano or a guitar. It wasn't until a gentleman approached her at an open mic night at a pub to ask her about representing her that she realized she'd been using her empathy unconsciously; he told her no one's voice had ever hit him so powerfully, made him see and feel things so strongly. He knew of an all-female band that was looking for a lead vocalist and he thought she'd be a great fit.

Antiheroine got a record deal within months of forming, though Teva knew it wasn't just on the merits of her voice. Her bandmates were just as good as she was with their respective instruments, and between her and Jessica, the bassist, they had enough good songs to hit platinum in the first week the album was out. They couldn't turn on any rock station without hearing themselves at least once an hour. There was a flurry of interviews and appearances on late night television shows, which marked the first time Teva ever set foot in the United States, and soon enough they were touring the world.

Teva hadn't felt conflicted about leaving home. She'd never been close to her parents and if anything they'd been somewhat abusive, her mother suffering from borderline personality disorder and her father brow-beaten to the point of silence. Her mother had congratulated  her on her success but had never supported her in school or her musical endeavors even after she attained fame. She'd made it clear from a very early point that Teva was on her own. It left her feeling somewhat empty that there was no one to be proud of her, no one to call home to when she was lonely.

The few friends she'd had in Perth had slowly drifted away as most of them went to Uni or took jobs that didn't afford them the same luxuries she had acquired, and it was difficult to keep in contact with them due to her frenetic schedule.

In six years the group was multi-platinum with four albums, the latest, How Deep it Goes, just shy of three million copies sold. The job was stressful even with their success, squabbles with the record company over taking the band in a new direction, arguments about appeasing a retail conglomerate that wouldn't sell their albums unedited for language, and hours on a plane or a tour bus led to frayed nerves and shouting matches between bandmates. Whoever had said that being a rock star was the ultimate in coolness had never actually been one.

It was the Deep tour that marked the beginning of the end for Teva, not that she knew it at the time. She was drinking most nights now, not enough to black out but enough to get numb, enough to drown out the feelings and thoughts of everyone around her and help her ignore how damn lonely she was. She'd never gotten particularly close to any of the other girls except Jessica, and while the others partied it up she was usually in her room with her guitar and a notebook, getting down every little drop that flowed out of her.

They were in New York City, a town she'd loved the first time she set foot in it. It seemed big enough, noisy enough, that she could get lost there and the thought didn't frighten her; she loved it so much she bought a penthouse there. Three sold out shows, one right after the other, she was amazed her voice didn't give out on the last one.

Part of her wanted to beg off the meet-and-greet backstage, thinking that surely anyone who wanted to meet her badly enough would have been there the first night, but tonight it was a group of teenagers from some nearby boarding school, an institute for the 'gifted' or something. She wasn't a complete jerk so she figured she'd drop in, make an appearance, sign some autographs and answer a few questions before she begged off and spent some time with a bottle of Jamesons.

The two chaperones for the group were having the devil of a time keeping the young ones contained, all of them obviously hopped up on caffeine and hormones. She remembered being like that and felt herself soften a little; if she'd been able to meet an idol at their age she'd be bouncing off the walls, too.

Now that she was the idol she thought it odd how nervous some people were around her, like somehow being a celebrity made her different or special. One girl practically gushed, stammering out how much Teva was an inspiration to her and having her autograph every album and a few posters as well.

"Next time I take them out, I will not let them drink so much soda beforehand." The white haired African woman with them smiled at Teva, extending a hand. A soft accent colored her words, made her seem even more exotic. "I very much enjoyed the concert, Ms. Lawson. One of my students practically begged me to listen to your first album and while hard rock isn't usually my first choice, your music is remarkably beautiful."

Teva smiled, shaking her hand. "Thanks, I appreciate that. A lot of people dismiss it as 'noise' though I admit sometimes that's all it sounds like to me, too." A t-shirt was thrust into her face and another giggling girl was talking up a storm.

Finally the throng seemed sated and she turned to the buffet table, her stomach growling impetuously. She had a hard time eating before a performance, her nerves hanging by a thread and making her feel nauseated, but afterwards she was ravenous. She began filling a plate with some of her favorites, strawberries and tiny PB&J sandwiches (grape jelly, only heathens ate it any other way), and she snagged an insulated mug for tea to soothe her throat. Something made her glance up while waiting for her tea to steep, and she found herself looking at the other school chaperone.

Her first impression of him was that he wasn't the most attractive man in the world, if one were to base attractiveness solely on looks. His brow was slightly pronounced with his dark eyes set deep so that they would be shadowed even without the cowboy hat he wore. His face was craggy and lined like he'd seen a lot of life and it'd kicked him while he was down more than once. If she had to guess she'd say he was in his 40s.

Teva had never been one to be attracted to conventionally handsome men, though. In this man's eyes she saw sharp intelligence, a constant watchfulness that marked him as a protector. He stood balanced on the balls of his feet as if he expected the need for quick action.

 He was stocky as hell, broad shouldered with a thickly-muscled chest that tapered into washboard abs before coming to his waist, and he was just as ripped below the amusingly-large maple leaf belt buckle. His faded blue jeans and black t-shirt fit him like a second skin and she felt her eyes drifting downwards before she caught herself.

Muscles shifted along his forearm as he reached up to scratch his forehead, tilting the hat back a touch as he did so. He looked like he could handle himself in a fight, among other things, for all he was as short as she was, maybe even a touch shorter.

He had a strong jaw that was almost obscured by the wild sideburns he wore long, and they added to the animalistic aspect. She wondered what his hair looked like beneath the cowboy hat, all she could tell was that it was black as coal.

It was his emotions that pulled the whole package together. Teva could read wariness and distrust with an undercurrent of anger. Something even more primal simmered below that. She understood that he didn't just look wild, he was wild, yet there was something else in him, too, that softened that hard edge. You couldn't pick up on it by looking at him, though.

Only a moment had passed, 60 seconds at most, but it was enough to catch his attention. He turned those dark, all-seeing eyes on her, one heavy eyebrow arching up, and it was then she realized he'd been aware of her gaze the whole time.

She felt a flicker of lust lick up her spine and she averted her eyes, but not before she caught the smirk that lifted the corner of his mouth.

"Ah, _faigh muin_ ," she cursed in Gaelic. For all she had regular offers of sex she'd never taken anyone up on it, and she'd been single for almost a year now after a serious thing with the guitarist from a group they'd been touring with.

When she looked up again he was standing closer. "How long you been playin'?" he asked. "Guitar, I mean." His voice was deep, rough, sounding almost like he didn't use it very often.

"Since I was a little girl, I taught myself." She shrugged, popping one of the mini sandwiches in her mouth, chewing and swallowing before continuing. "Fifteen years, give or take." She gestured with her chin in the direction of the kids. "How'd you get roped into bringing them here?"

He snorted. "Still tryin' to figure that one out myself. You play my kinda music but spendin' time with those kids ain't my idea o' fun. Rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon."

Teva snickered. "So you liked the concert, then?"

"Yeah, I liked it fine." He glanced over at the students. "Didn't much like havin' to keep one of the couples separated, though. Like weasels in heat."

She was glad she wasn't currently ingesting anything or she'd have choked. "Kids are like that, I'm sure you were at one point." She looked him in the eye, pleased that he didn't look away despite the darkness that swam behind the brown orbs. It was hard to imagine him as a teenager, he had a feeling of age to him, of having seen things most people hadn't and would never want to.

"Can't say that I ever was." The answer seemed weighted, as if he mourned the death of childhood. Something she could kind of relate to. "You write all those songs?"

"Mmm, most of them. Jess helps me write some," Teva replied, cracking open a can of Irn Bru and taking a quick sip. "If it's hard and fast with depressing lyrics, chances are I wrote it." She saw him smile, a slight curve of his lips, and it actually reached his eyes. "You got a name, stranger?"

"Logan."

"Teva." On a whim she stuck out her hand, smiling back when his rough, warm hand touched hers. It was callused on the palm and the fleshy parts of the fingers, different from hers where the calluses were on her fingertips from years of guitar abuse. She tightened her shields and breathed a little easier when they held strong. "So what was the name of your school?"

"Xavier's Institute for Gifted Children."

"So, what, like super-smart kids?" She watched his face shut down, saw the guarded, protective look that came into his eyes.

"You could say that."

They both glanced away, Teva's gaze going to the teenagers again. She noticed the gloves one girl wore, had thought it was just a fashion statement but now she was thinking differently. One girl gave away their secret, standing by the buffet table and looking around furtively before taking a soda can without ever reaching for it.

Teva looked back at Logan, saw in his eyes that he knew she'd seen. "Mutants," she said quietly, not wanting to alert anyone else in the room, which wasn't too difficult with the noise level. "That's what you mean by 'gifted.'"

"That a problem?" His voice held a soft challenge.

Teva couldn't help the bitter laugh that escaped her lips. "Why should it be? They cannae help what they are anymore than I can." She cocked her head to the side, looking him up and down. "Are you one, too?"

He shrugged powerful shoulders, tipping his cowboy hat lower. "We all are, it's why there's an entire damn school." If he hadn't been watching her so closely he wouldn't have seen the look of naked longing that came into her eyes at his words; she still lived with her secret and risked losing everything she'd worked to achieve. She didn't even bother trying to hide it, she'd always worn her heart on her sleeve.

"Lucky." She said it softly, not meant for him to hear. Slightly louder, she said, "It was nice meeting you." She didn't meet his eyes again as she gathered her food and made her escape.

* * *

 

Logan was quiet as usual on the way home from the concert, but there was a particularly brooding air to his demeanor as he drove the van. He was thinking of his encounter with Teva and why it was still weighing on him.

Part of it was just physical attraction, especially after he'd caught her checking him out appreciatively. He had a thing for redheads after all, always had, and she had auburn hair down to her waist. He'd heard the brogue in her voice and she had the fair Celtic skin to go along with it, almost invisible freckles across her nose and high cheekbones, and eyes the color of the whiskey he preferred. Her slender body was all but lost in baggy cargo shorts and an old Van Halen t-shirt, though the way the shorts clung hinted at a nice set of hips. She carried herself with a certain amount of confidence that was tempered by wariness, a sense of having seen more than her few years could account for, something he could relate to.

But that wasn't enough to explain why he was still thinking about her. Any number of attractive women caught his eye and were out of his mind in seconds. He kept coming back to the look on her face when she'd realized that he and the rest of the Xavier's crew were mutants.

“You and Ms. Lawson seemed to enjoy talking to one another.” Ororo's voice from the passenger seat brought him back to the present.

He glanced at her for a moment before turning his eyes back to the road. “She was nice enough, I guess.”

The weather goddess smiled. “It is not often that I see you speaking to someone for any length of time, Logan. And we have been friends for long enough that I know when your interest is piqued.”

He gave her a little smirk. “She was cute, I'll give her that. Little on the skinny side, though.”

Ororo made an amused sound but let it go.

“She knows about us,” he said suddenly, his voice pitched for her ears only. “She saw Angie use her TK to grab a soda.” He heard Ororo's soft noise of disapproval.

“That is mildly concerning. Did she happen to mention her feelings on mutants?”

“I think she's one of us,” he replied, tapping his fingers impatiently on the steering wheel as they rolled to a stop at a red light. “She said somethin' about the kids not bein' able to help what they are anymore than she could. And she's gonna be screwed if anyone ever finds out what she is.”

“She has lived this long, Logan, with her secret. And perhaps her choice of profession will not lead to too much hysteria should it become common knowledge.”

Logan snorted derisively. “Don't matter what she does for a livin', 'Ro, mutants are hated all over the damn world. People don't want anything to do with us. Most of 'em would burn us at the stake given half a chance.”

“I'm sure she'll be fine, Logan. She seems to have a good head on her shoulders. You shouldn't worry.”

He didn't even know why he worried. Maybe it was just one mutant fearing for another, knowing how cruel baselines could be to their kind, especially when there was no solid count on how many mutants actually roamed the planet. He'd heard Xavier and the other big heads speculate that the number was in the millions but still in the minority amongst 'normal' humans. And it wasn't like there weren't other insanely successful mutants who lived in the limelight without their secret being known; the X-Men's very own Angel, Warren Worthington III, had that distinction, and he hid a 16-foot wingspan in a custom-made harness and expensive designer suits.

Logan shrugged off the sense of foreboding he got, chalked it up to his own personal brand of crazy paranoia. It didn't affect him either way what happened to a woman he'd never see again, never speak to again. He had himself and his own people to worry about without adding a stranger to the mix.

He had a strange habit, though, of picking up strays, so to speak. He'd done it with Kitty and then again with Jubilee, somehow managing to find the part of himself that felt compassion and kindness for all he railed against that part of himself. It was something Mariko had seen in him even after she'd also seen his bestial side. Sometimes he wished he could shut that part of himself off to save himself the grief and heartache that inevitably came part and parcel with attachments of the heart, but he knew he wouldn't be human otherwise. And being human was something he very much wanted to remain.

He was more than happy to finally pull into the garage of the school, leaving Ororo to herd the still-hyped, chattering teenagers inside. He wanted a drink and a cigar very badly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _faigh muin_ \- 'fuck me' in Gaelic


	2. Chapter 2

Someone slamming their fist on the door at six in the morning was never a good sign. Teva groaned as she rolled over and squinted at the clock, she'd only been asleep two hours and her mind was still fogged with alcohol. She'd also requested to be left alone until 10.

The knocking continued, getting more persistent, so she got up, belting on a blue silk robe over her nude body.

"What the fuck is it?" she demanded as she opened the door.

There was a newspaper being held up with one hand, the words "Mutant Rock Star" printed across the front page in 48-point font over a picture of her on stage. The paper lowered to reveal the very angry face of her manager, Troy.

"You wanna explain this?" he spat out.

Teva stared for a moment, her heart beating rapidly and her mouth gone even drier than before. His rage was so intense she took a step back from it unintentionally. ""Where did ye get that?" she asked when she found her voice.

The man who'd found her and given her stardom pushed past her into the sitting room. "They're at every newsstand in New Mexico, and probably the rest of the fucking country by now. The record execs are asking if it's true."

"Do you think it is?" She sat down on the couch, curling her legs beneath her. "Would it matter if it is?"

"You know it matters. There are people pushing that registration act, and anyone known or even thought to be associating with mutants suddenly loses their businesses, their homes, sometimes family members ..." Troy threw the paper on the coffee table. It skidded to a stop just before it fell off. "Is it true or not, Teva? Got a lot riding on this."

Teva closed her eyes, panic rising up. She'd been fearing this for years, dreading the possibility of being outed; it meant the end of everything she'd managed to gain, the end of the only remotely happy time in her life. She had kept it locked up, away, forced herself to control it for so long that she'd nearly forgotten sometimes that it was there. It was such a part of her that it was easy to ignore, easy to think that it wasn't such a big deal.

She thought about lying but he was right: if it came out later on that she'd denied the truth, any number of people could be hurt quite literally because of it. She felt her shoulders hunch and she took a deep breath.

"It's true."

"This is just fucking great, Teva. Wonderful." Troy was pacing now. "I'll have to find a new lead singer, if the record company doesn't just void the contract and drop Antiheroine." He turned to glare at her. "Why did you keep this a secret for so long? Do you realize how selfish that is?"

Her anger flared, finally. "Are ye fucking kidding me, Troy? This is the reason why: I'd lose everything. Just like what's happening right this minute. I'm sorry that wanting to live a normal life was so damned 'selfish' in your eyes." She fought to hold onto that anger, because fear and uncertainty were warring to control her, to break her down.

"Do my bandmates ken?"

Troy nodded sharply. "Trudy was the one who gave me the paper in the first place. They're angry, all of them, Andy doesn't even want to talk to you, doesn't even want to hear what you have to say in defense of yourself. You fucked up here, royally."

Teva realized suddenly that her hands were shaking and she clasped them together in her lap to still them. "Ye will'nae give me a chance either, will ye?" She didn't even wait to hear the answer. "I'll make it easy for ye, then. I'll be packed and gone in an hour, far away from your precious band and reputation."

He watched her for a moment, and only then did she feel anything other than anger from him. Feeling pity was about ten times worse. "Antiheroine won't be the same without you, but it's going to have to be."

Teva laughed, a short, sharp bark of sound. "Ye're not fucking getting the rights to my songs, or any of my equipment. Ye'll have it shipped to my penthouse in Manhattan, in perfect condition. That's all I want." Most of her guitars remained with her anyway, but there were amps and pedals that were hers.

"I can do that much for you." Troy stood there, as if he'd expected her to put up more of a fight, even though they both knew it wouldn't have mattered.

"Get out, Troy." She turned her back on him, heading for the bedroom and the bathroom, not even looking back to see if he complied or not.

She stripped her robe off, letting it fall onto the cold tile floor as she turned on the water as hot as it would go. Maybe boiling her skin off would make the pain less, make the screaming inside her head stop. She let herself cry, her body shaking with the effort, the tears indistinguishable from the water pounding down on her, her hands braced against the tile. She'd lost another family, another group she could call her own, and she cried for the incredible wrongness of the situation. Humans should be ashamed of themselves for treating mutants so harshly.

Even as she thought that she knew she hated herself, hated what she was, hated where it had gotten her in life. Without the empathy she likely would have never risen so high, high enough to make the landing almost deadly when she finally fell. But she also wouldn't have truly been able to live her dream of singing for a living, of sharing her music, and part of her couldn't quite regret that.

True to her word she was out of the hotel room in an hour, calling a cab to transport her and her things to the airport. She didn't much care for flying but she wanted to get home as quickly as possible, needed to be surrounded by inanimate objects that didn't place any demands on her or her time, her thoughts, her emotions.

* * *

 

Life got somewhat back to normal, if normal included calls at all hours of the day and night begging for interviews. She finally shut off her landline and her cellphone, not feeling the need for contact with the outside world that didn't involve a laptop and an internet connection. If someone cared enough to get in contact with her, they'd come to her penthouse and say it to her face. So far no one had showed up.

The first couple weeks she'd ignored her instruments, left them in their cases in a spare bedroom because it was too painful to even look at them. The well of inspiration had dried up, left her bereft without any way to deal with what was going on in her head, her heart. It was just easier to not have the reminder of her guitars staring her in the face every time she walked through her living room.

She began drinking a little more heavily and found herself waking up on the couch more often than not, too dead to even sleep in her own bed. With no one to stop her, though, she just kept doing it. It drowned out the things she just didn't want to deal with.

Two months of nothing and then finally she felt like playing again. She didn't write, and she didn't play or sing a single note of anything she'd written with Antiheroine; she picked songs from favorite artists, the songs she'd used to teach herself to play, the ones from her childhood that could still make her smile.

The door buzzer went off one day in the middle of a song, causing Teva to look up in mild annoyance, the chord she'd just struck still reverberating. She slipped the guitar behind her back on its strap as she walked to the front door, pressing the button on the metal plate set into the wall. "What is it, James?"

The doorman's cultured voice came back tinny. "There are two gentlemen here to see you, Ms. Lawson, though I hesitate to use that description for one of them. They said they're from some school."

She blinked, wondering who the hell it could be. "Names?"

"Scott Summers and Logan. He declined to give me a last name, like Cher or Prince."

She snickered, she loved that man's sense of humor. "No, let them up. I ... know Logan." She let the button go and drifted into the kitchen to grab a Pepsi while she waited for the men to take the elevator up.

The doorbell finally rang its obnoxious little tune, announcing their arrival. Her guard was up immediately as she opened the door, not completely sure what they were here for, or how in the hell they'd found out where she lived. It wasn't in the phone book.

She gave Scott Summers a raised eyebrow. Jesus, could he look more like he'd stepped out of a J. Crew catalog? She couldn't quite tell his age because of the strange ruby-red sunglasses that hid his eyes but she figured he was close to her in years.

When her eyes drifted to Logan, she found he looked much the same as before: clothes all beat-up but now he was wearing a leather jacket in deference to the winter weather, with no cowboy hat. His hair was wild, doing this weird little pointy thing in back. She tried to ignore the little flip-flop her stomach did upon seeing him again. His mouth quirked, likely in reaction to her own reaction to the Boy Scout standing next to him. That smile made her heart do a stupid little jig. God, he was old enough to be her father, likely. Christ.

It was the younger man who spoke. "Ms. Lawson? I'm Scott Summers, and I understand you already know Logan here."

She dragged her eyes away from the shorter man and nodded slowly. "Uh, yeah, I met him several months ago after a concert when he brought some of the kids from your school backstage." Her eyes narrowed. "If you dinnae mind me asking, how did you find me? There's a reason my address is unlisted."

Scott managed to look sheepish. "May we come in? It might take a few moments to explain and some of it is rather sensitive information."

Teva hesitated a moment, then stepped aside and gestured for them to come in, heading for the living room as she slipped her guitar off.

"Nice Washburn," Logan commented.

"Thanks," she replied quietly, setting the guitar on the coffee table. "Uh, would you guys like something to drink?" When they both answered in the negative she sat down on one end of her couch. Her nerves went on alert when Logan sat on the other end from her. Scott took an armchair and looked incredibly out of place amongst her comfortable, lived-in furniture. Logan looked right at home.  
  
"We didn't find you by looking in the phone book," the younger man said, sitting forward to engage her attention. She was almost amused by his earnestness. "We have an easier method of tracking down mutants which likely sounds strange to anyone who isn't one of us. The man who runs our school, Charles Xavier, is a powerful telepath. He built a machine many years ago that allows him to amplify his abilities to the point where he can find people with just his mind, it's done wonders for finding kids living on the streets so that we can help them." He spread his hands out. "That's how we found you."

She didn't know what to say in response to that so she just sat there, clutching her bottle of soda.

Logan cleared his throat, shifting in his seat to prop one foot on the opposite knee. "We saw ya on the news, Chuck thought we should find ya and see if you needed help." Teva thought she read something else from him, some hesitation or something but since she didn't know him, she couldn't be sure. His dark eyes and intense gaze made her feel a little nervous.

Scott nodded to confirm what Logan had said. "You're not alone in the world, Teva. We'd like to offer you a place where you can live with others like you, and if you need help with your powers we can offer that, too. Xavier would also like to extend a teaching position, we're lacking a music teacher."

Teva nearly choked on her soda. "What? Teaching? What the hell for? I dinnae know the first thing about that, I did'nae even go to university!"

"If Logan can teach kids, I'm sure you could, too."

Logan glared at him. "Ya want a claw up the ass to go along with the metal rod, bub?"

Scott glanced aside at him, and Teva got the impression he'd just rolled his eyes. "I'm just saying that if she's worried about experience, you didn't have any when you started teaching, either." He turned his attention back to Teva. "You don't have to accept the position, but the offer of a safe haven still stands."

She nodded, taking another cautious sip. "I guess I can think about it, at least." And likely laugh herself silly over the notion. She glanced around the room. "Might be better than sitting around here all day, I guess."

Scott got to his feet, pulling a business card out of his pocket. "This has the phone number and address for the school on it. Take all the time you need to decide, we don't want to rush you." He started moving for the door. "You coming, Logan?"

"Gimme a second," Logan replied as he stood, shooing Scott out the door. He looked at Teva sitting on the couch. "How are ya doin'? You seemed, I dunno, better the last time I saw ya."

Teva snorted. "Being outed will do that to a person. And finding out that the people you thought were friends dinnae care that you're a person and not just a carrier of the X gene." She pulled the guitar off the table and onto her lap, cradling it against her body like a security blanket. Her fingers fell wherever on the frets, picking out a short, sharp tune. "I'm no really sure how to deal with losing everything I'd gained."

He was silent a moment as he watched her. "Where are you from, if ya don't mind me askin'?"

The question took her by surprise, startling an automatic answer out of her. "Perth, Scotland. I left there when I was 18, after I finished secondary school." A dark humor settled over her. "Should have left the instant I found out what I was."

"And what are you?"

The look in his eyes made her avert her gaze. She knew he'd seen the half-empty bottle of Jack Daniels on the floor under the coffee table. "Something not normal." She didn't look up at him, and finally she heard his heavy boots sounding across the hardwood floor.

He stopped, hesitated. "Drinkin' ain't gonna make it any better."

Her head finally lifted but he was moving again, the door shutting behind him, and only then did she realize she was shaking. Her head dropped down, hair falling into her face. She was alone again.  



	3. Chapter 3

Logan was pacing the length of the floor in front of Xavier's desk. "Been a month, Chuck, ain't heard a peep out of her. Figured she'd have told us somethin' by now."

The Professor sat calmly behind his desk, watching the restless movements of the Wolverine. "She's a complicated young woman, Logan, who lost everything dear to her because of bigotry. It's no surprise that she's wary of accepting a hand held out in friendship, afraid of taking a chance on something else she's afraid of losing.

"What I'm curious about is why you're so worried about her."

"Can't I just be curious, too?"

Xavier chuckled. "If this behavior from you were a regular occurrence, then I wouldn't wonder at it, but for you to act this way over a stranger is what makes me wonder what's different this time."

Logan finally stopped pacing and sprawled into one of the leather armchairs facing the desk. "I dunno, not sure if it's somethin' I can even really explain," he said. He was well aware of the strangeness of his actions, his attitude. "I talked to 'er, after 'Ro and I took the kids to that concert, and I ... there was somethin' about her."

He looked down at his hands, a common focus of his attention. "An' when Scott an' I went to see her, she was different, I could tell she'd been drinkin', tryin' to drown herself. Ain't a good way to go through life. Guess I just feel like she deserves better."

"That sounds remarkably like how you've taken Kitty and Jubilee under your wing, so to speak. You saw something in them that needed help and you gave it willingly." Xavier shook his head ruefully. "I don't think you've ever given an answer without some sort of fight, Logan. Maybe she's not the only one who's changed."

His head cocked to the side, eyes going distant as usually happened when someone was in telepathic contact with him. When his eyes refocused he smiled at Logan. "Would you be so kind as to answer the front door? There is no one else on the first floor who would get to it in time."

As soon as he finished speaking the doorbell sounded. Logan gave him a funny look before getting up to do as he'd been asked.

He supposed he shouldn't have been surprised to see Teva there. "Speak o' the devil," he said when he opened the door. "Took ya long enough." She looked like hell, her clothes hung looser on her than they had before and she had dark circles under her eyes. Her long hair was tangled and pulled into a messy ponytail.

Teva drew herself up and he saw the anger in her spark to life. Good, at least she still had that. "You always answer the door like an arsehole?" she asked. "Do you know how many times I changed my mind about this?"

He couldn't help smirking at her, teasing her to watch her temper flare up now that he knew it was there. "Just didn't expect it to take a flamin' month."

"Aye, well, neither did I. It was'nae something I wanted to decide quickly. I'm no impulsive, never have been, and I did'nae intend to start with this."

"Nothin' wrong with bein' a little reckless," he said, moving aside to let her in. He reached for her bag and she let him take it, noticing the little twitch she gave when their hands touched and wondered at it but didn't mention it. "Makes life more interestin' sometimes."

"I'll keep that in mind," she replied dryly, looking around the vast foyer. Her eyes went a little wide at the understated decorations that managed to speak of wealth. "Is, uh, Professor Xavier around? I wanted to see him, y'ken, to be sure I'm no making a foolish choice." She still clutched a hardshell guitar case.

Logan nodded. "He's down the hall, first door on the right. I can take your stuff to an empty room, if you want," he offered.

She hesitated a moment before relinquishing her guitar. "Damage that and I'll kill you."

He smirked again. "Don't worry, darlin', I'll be careful with it."

Teva breathed out a little shakily. "Sorry, dinnae mind me. I'm all strung up and likely to say another dozen stupid things before day's end." She gestured to her things in his hands. "Thanks." She turned to leave, then turned back. "I threw out all the alcohol in my penthouse."

He raised an eyebrow, a little impressed. "Told ya drinkin' wouldn't solve anything."

She shrugged, the fingers on her left hand moving as if she were making chords on a guitar. It must have been a nervous gesture or she was just playing music in her head. "Easy to say that when you dinnae have a drinking problem."

"True. I'm glad for you, darlin'."

"Will, uh, will I see you around later?"

"Yeah, I'll be around. You get goin'."

She gave him a little wave with her hand and went on, her shoulders squared now. The last time he'd seen her they'd been hunched, and the change in posture made him think she'd be alright.

* * *

 

Xavier was waiting for her in his office, having come around his desk to greet her properly. He seemed the perfect gentleman, his voice cultured and pitched to cultivate calm and ease in his audience. "It's good to finally meet you, Ms. Lawson. I was hoping you'd accept my offer."

She bit her lower lip, gnawing on it a moment before she answered. "Truthfully, I'm still no sure I want to accept it, but ..." She looked away from his steady, sure gaze, embarrassed. "I just dinnae want to be alone anymore," she finished quietly. Something about the man made her words seem perfectly rational.

"You won't be alone here," Xavier assured her, gesturing for her to take a seat. "I know that your life hasn't been an easy one; most of the people here have been through tragedy of some kind or another. We have children from broken, abusive homes, from parents who didn't want them because of what they are, children who had been living on the streets before we found them, just trying to survive.

"I've worked very hard to provide a place of safety for them, as well as the adults who live here. It's a very large, extended family of sorts, each person having their own place and way of contributing. I won't turn you out should you not wish to teach but I do so hope you will still consider the position. You have so much to share." He reached out to touch her arm and jerked back suddenly.

Teva jerked, too, nearly spilling herself out of her seat. She'd felt a rush of her own fear like it was being pulled out of her. "What was that? What just happened?"

Xavier rubbed his hand across the front of his suit jacket. "You are an empath, are you not?" When she nodded he continued. "As hard as you're trying to shield you're still leaking some emotion. My own mental shields and powers are strong; I think touching you when your emotions are running strong and you have less control may have triggered a sort of power surge." He frowned, considering. "Do you have more trouble controlling the empathy when you touch someone?"

She nodded, feeling dizzy and weak. "Some people are worse than others. Logan ... I touched him, when he took my bags. It was just a few seconds but I got so much from him, such a strong personality, a lot of pain and darkness, arrogance, protectiveness ..." She took a deep breath, shaking her head. "I've no felt anything like him before."

"There must be some telepathy involved, then, if you were able to pick up qualities along with raw emotion. Have you ever experienced voices that seemed to come from nowhere? Or thoughts that weren't your own?"

Teva nodded again, let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. "Aye, but it's erratic. It's never been as much of a problem as the empathy, that's what keeps me awake at night, trying to block out everyone's emotions." Her hands shook in memory. "I hated touring with the band because it meant hotel rooms, and hotels full of people. The crowds at the concerts seemed easier to handle because I could feed everything back at them. I dinnae ken how I'm going to live in a school full of people, though."

"I can help you with that," Xavier assured her. He gave her a small smile. "And I can help you develop the telepathy, should you so choose, but for now I believe that I can shore up your defenses, allow you to shield more permanently so that you are not overwhelmed." When she nodded in response, he asked, "May I have your hand?"

She offered it warily, expecting another shock, but instead she found peace. Quiet. She watched his eyes close and she felt her own drift shut in response.

After what seemed like mere seconds she found herself blinking, the shaft of sunlight that had been slanting across the desk now in a different position.

"Are you alright?" Xavier asked, watching her carefully.

"Aye, I think so." She ran a hand over her head. "Did it work?" She had a feeling it had because she felt stronger, less jittery than she had since before she'd manifested.

"Yes, though it took a bit longer than I'd anticipated. You're strong and the fact that you've gone so long without formal training from another so psychically gifted made it somewhat difficult for me to duplicate and then boost your mental shields. I have had many more years experience and as such my shields are more ... sophisticated than yours. Your shields are very much like a tangled brier patch that I had to watch my step through."

He glanced down at his pocket watch. "Dinner should be ready shortly. I would like you to join us, so that the other adults may meet you."

Teva blushed when her stomach growled. "I guess I dinnae have much choice, then."

She found herself shying away, though, when they entered the dining room and a wave of sound hit her. Belatedly she realized that none of the accompanying thoughts or emotions followed, just blessed silence in her head but for her own rambling psyche. She looked around and found kids ranging in ages from what seemed like five all the way up to high school age, and quite a few who would be college age.

The chatter died for a moment, becoming hushed as some of the students recognized her, and even with Xavier bolstering her shields, she could feel their attention. For the first time in a very long while, it unnerved her to be the focus of so many; she though she'd outgrown that nervousness, considering how many times she'd been on stage in front of thousands without blinking.

Numerous adults occupied the table that Xavier guided her to, Logan among them. He sat next to a pretty redhead, the seat on his right unoccupied.

He raised an eyebrow when he saw her, then jerked his head to indicate he wanted her to sit beside him. She took the seat, tucking one leg up beneath her in a gesture she'd been doing for years. A plate piled high with food was pushed in front of her.

"How did you ...?"

"I'm good at guessin'," he replied. "Probably too much food, little thing like you probably couldn't put that much away."

The challenge was evident in his eyes, as was the amusement. She met it with determination and her Scottish stubbornness. "Are you always this much of a pain in the arse?"

"Oh, definitely," came a female voice. The redhead next to Logan leaned forward and grinned. "It's what he does best. I'm Jean, by the way."

"Also known as Kill Joy," Logan muttered, poking at his mashed potatoes with his fork. "Ya never let me have any fun."

"When your definition of fun is being obnoxious and a little bit rude, it's my natural duty to make sure you don't have any." Jean's words carried only a little seriousness; the underlying tone was affection and something else Teva couldn't quite pinpoint.

Teva glanced across the table and found Ororo smiling at her. "It is good to see you again, Teva. You are looking well."

"Thanks," she replied, even though part of her wanted to argue with the 'you are looking well' comment. She knew she looked like hell twice over, but she'd spent that morning agonizing, second-guessing herself over whether or not she was crazy. She'd pulled on whatever clothes were clean, which just so happened to be her oldest pair of jeans and an old long-sleeved _Master of Puppets_ tour t-shirt. Getting the knots out of her long hair just hadn't seemed worth the effort.

Suddenly the conversations in the room dropped to a murmur and she could have sworn she heard the distinctive sound of teenage girls squealing and giggling. Teva turned her head to see what the problem was and she damn near rolled her eyes.

Walking into the room was a man that most women she knew lusted after: Warren Worthington III, owner of Worthington Industries now that his father had passed.

She supposed he was attractive, if one liked their men slightly effeminate, with long, wavy, golden blond hair, blue eyes, the very image of an angel. His suit probably cost more than most mortgage payments. She supposed she shouldn't think uncharitable thoughts towards him but he'd been trying to get in her pants for a while now, ever since her third world tour.

She thought she may have growled when he started coming her direction. "Nice to see you again, Teva. I'd heard you might be coming here to teach." He flashed that smile at her, the one she called 'The Toothpaste Model Smile.' It likely worked on other women. "I'd hoped the rumors were true."

She chewed on the inside of her lip a moment before answering. "I did'nae ken you lived here, War." She called him that because she knew it irritated him. They'd gone on a couple dates before she'd started ignoring him. "Funny how that never came up."

"I actually have my own place, but I do teach business classes here."

"I bet you're verrae good at that." She could feel Logan's eyes on her, knew he was listening to the conversation. Hell, everyone in the room was probably trying to figure out their history.

Another thousand-watt smile. "Oh, I am. I did want to let you know that if you're ever interested in putting together a solo album, I'd be more than happy to offer my studio for your use."

There was another growl but this one was from Logan. "Ya mind steppin' away, bird brain?"

Teva choked down a laugh. "Thanks, Logan, but I can handle this by myself. Done it more than once." She turned back to Warren. "I appreciate the offer. I'll think about it, but I've got a lot going on right know, y'ken?"

"Oh, of course," Warren replied, ultimately solicitous. "I won't push, but don't hesitate to let me know."

"I'll do that." She watched him round the table and take a seat next to a big, furry blue man who would look more at home with the Muppets than sitting there daintily holding a teacup in clawed fingers. She felt the insane urge to giggle and turned back to her food, surprised to find that she actually had an appetite.

Logan nudged a glass of water her way and she nodded in thanks, not entirely used to someone taking care of her. Judging from the looks some of the others were giving them, it seemed this wasn't usual behavior for Logan.

She glanced up and found Xavier watching them, a thoughtful look on his face before he smiled at her. She sighed and dug into her food, then, grateful that no one else interrupted her meal, and when she was finished there was nothing left on her plate but part of a crust of bread. She hadn't realized she even had much of an appetite.

She didn't want to interrupt Logan's conversation with his friends so she did some people watching. There were quite a few residents with visible mutations, one girl with pink hair and bones protruding from her skin, another kid with a forked tongue that he seemed to enjoy sticking out at people.

There was a man a couple seats down from Ororo that had strange red-on-black eyes and when he caught her staring, he grinned at her.

"Remy LeBeau," he said, offering his hand across the table.

"Teva Lawson," she said, offering her  hand, but if she'd expected him to shake it she was surprised when he pulled it close and kissed the back of it.

" _Enchanté_ , Ms. Lawson." His accent was all New Orleans. "Pity we had t' meet this way."

She knew he meant the circumstances of her coming to the school. She shrugged. "Dinnae ken if I would have met you otherwise."

"Wouldn' 'a been for lack o' tryin', _chere_. Remy very fond o' beautiful women."

"Knock it off, Swamp Rat." Logan was paying attention to her again. "She don't need you charmin' the pants off o' her."

Teva raised an eyebrow at him. "You keep riding to my rescue and I'll start calling you my White Knight."

Remy busted up laughing. "The Wolverine be more like the Black Knight, _non_? Short enough t' bite yer legs off."

She couldn't help the giggle. "Glad to ken there are Monty Python fans here." She bit her lip when Logan frowned at her. "What? Sorry, sorry," she said, trying not to laugh. "It's quite the image, though, it'll be hard to get rid of."

Logan grumbled at her.

"I cannae help it if he's charming, Logan."

"Charming?"

Jean spoke up again from beside him. "Yes, charming. Unlike some people I know."

"I can be damned charmin' when I wanna be, Jeannie." Logan smirked. "All I gotta do is take my shirt off and all the women swoon."

Teva coughed, trying to clear her throat. She stared at him but he just stared back, unapologetic. "You certainly are sure of yourself," she said as she pushed her plate away. Suddenly she felt tired, exhausted. "Would you mind verrae much showing me to my room?"

He shook his head. "Nah, I can do that." He offered her a hand up which she accepted, feeling a little unstable. "You, uh, want a tour or somethin' first?" he asked when they were back in the hallway. "Just so you can get an idea where everything is."

She looked at him, wondering what he was up to, but she was too tired to care. "I..." she began, intending to say no, but the way he was looking at her made her change her mind. "Sure. That would be nice."

 


	4. Chapter 4

Logan showed her places in the school he thought she might like, not quite realizing that he was proud of this place, or that some part of him wanted to see her smile more. Her cheeks dimpled when she did so and she often gave this little half-smile that made him think of kissing her. He was used to urges like that so he dismissed it.

Teva looked rather at home in the greenhouse, smelling a flower here, touching a bloom there. "When I was five," she said softly as if talking to herself, "I planted some posies behind my house. I left them out on the back porch and would watch them for hours every day, just to see when they'd sprout." She sat on a stone bench, looking down at her hands.

"It took a couple of weeks for them to grow and bloom; they were so pretty, all pink and purple, and I was so proud of myself. When I saw the first flowers I ran inside to show my mum, and when I came back out the neighbor's beagle had eaten them." She laughed softly as she picked at loose threads on her jeans that were forming a hole on her knee. "I cannae believe I remember that."

Logan found himself standing in front of her, looking down at the top of her head. She shocked the hell out of him by reaching for his hand, her fingers a little cool where they curled around his. Her scent went from contented to sad and he blinked, wanted to jerk his hand back but she obviously needed it, needed the human contact, so he gave it to her. He'd never had anyone so casually touch him; he was so used to people being afraid of him or thinking he was an asshole. He sat down beside her.

"Do you remember doing anything silly as a little kid?" Teva asked, finally looking at him. Her eyes were misted over with the threat of tears, her lower lip caught between her teeth.

"I ..." The question made him intensely uncomfortable and he felt the familiar pain that accompanied any thought of his murky past. "I don't know. I'm sure I did." It was a vague answer, deliberately so, and he hoped she'd leave it at that.

"That's okay, I think everyone has some kind of story or another." She turned her body to face him, bringing her legs up to sit tailor fashion, now holding his hand in both of hers. "Do you like it here?"

He shrugged. "Better than some nameless hotel room, I can tell you that." He was silent a moment, concentrating on her touch. He could feel the calluses on the pads of her fingers. "It's a good place. A little more fluffy bunny than I care for sometimes, but it's good. Sometimes I don't feel like I belong here, though."

"'Fluffy bunny'?" she asked, laughing. There were the dimples. "I guess if you can make it here, I can, too."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he asked a little indignantly.

Teva grinned. "Nothing. Just that you seem as reluctant to let yourself be a part of something as I am, when there's always the chance it could be taken from you without warning." She looked down at their joined hands. "Y'ken, I dinnae think I've ever touched anyone for this long without it being painful." Her gaze lifted again. "It's ... nice."

His head tilted slightly to the side in curiosity. "What makes it painful?"

"Emotions," she replied simply "I dinnae need to be touching someone to feel them, but skin-on-skin contact makes it harder not to. Xavier helped me with my shielding so I will'nae feel anything from you unless I want to."

She reached out one of her hands and he froze when he saw she was going for his dogtags. "Wolverine," she read aloud, her thumb brushing over the name and numbers stamped in the metal. "Military?"

Logan grunted, touching the tags when she let them go. "Somethin' like that." He tucked them inside his shirt. "Not somethin' I like talkin' about."

"Fair enough." Her hand had dropped back down onto his, her fingertips drawing designs on the back of it. "I dinnae wish to make you think about painful things."

They sat in silence a few moments, the only sound from the fountain Ororo had installed in the garden. She'd been very dictatorial in directing the men how and where to set it up.

"So ... what makes you, y'ken, special?" Teva asked.

"You mean my X gene?" When she nodded, he shrugged. "Healin' factor, pretty much makes me unkillable."

"Ooh, that's a handy thing to have." She finally let his hand go, her arms stretching up over her head before she covered her mouth and yawned widely. "My gods, I feel like I ran a marathon today."

"C'mon, let's get you settled in." They went back into the mansion proper and he led her down a flight of stairs. "Got you in the adult wing, no one under the age of 18 down here, just teachers and staff mostly." He opened a door, standing aside to let her go in. "Oh, and the rooms are soundproofed."

She flipped on the lights and stopped in the middle of the room, giving him an odd look. "Why the hell do the rooms need to be soundproofed?"

Logan grinned, didn't keep the suggestive leer out of it. "We have some couples that live down here. You wanna get woken up in the middle of the night?"

She blushed faintly before laughing. "Well, no, I suppose that would'nae be pleasant." She snorted. "So I guess if you're a noisy lover, you dinnae have to worry about anyone hearing it."

"Hmmm, haven't had much change to test it myself yet."

"Oh, poor you," Teva teased, laughing. She glanced around the room. "I guess that'll make it easier to play electric guitar, then. Will'nae have to deal with people being annoyed if I decide I want to play 'Stairway to Heaven' at three in the morning."

"You do that often?"

"Nah, more often than not it's something like Van Halen or The Ramones. I tend to sing 'I Wanna Be Sedated' when I've got bad insomnia." She smiled at him. "Thanks for showing me around, Logan. I guess I'll see you later?"

He nodded. "Yeah," he said as he went out the door. "I'm next door, if you need somethin'." It was still a little strange to him, that he was the one getting her settled in, he was definitely not part of the unofficial welcoming committee, though he didn't mind introducing himself to new people. He figured it had something to do with the fact he'd been one of the first to meet her, then he'd gone with Scott to see if she'd come to the Institute. He wasn't sure if it was obligation or pity that he felt for her but he knew she wouldn't appreciate either of those things, so he just left it at one lonely soul trying to help out another.

~~~

Teva watched him leave, closing the door behind him and wondering how someone she barely knew could make her feel happy. She was used to being told she needed to smile more but so rarely did the guy saying it actually do anything to elicit such a response.

It wasn't late in the day by any means, only seven in the evening, but she was beyond exhausted. She'd brought enough clothes with her to last a week and she was planning on having the rest of her things sent here along with her guitars. Already this place felt like home, made her feel safe for the first time in her life. She'd keep the penthouse for now in case something happened to change her mind, but at the moment she was feeling somewhat content.

She put her clothes away in the dresser provided, found the bed already made with dark blue sheets. There were individual use toiletries in the bathroom which she gathered up and put into the medicine cabinet, placing her own things around the sink.

When she was finished she took a quick shower, brushed out her hair and braided it, and then she crawled into bed. She was asleep in minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Learning her way around the mansion was confusing at first. There were at least four floors and she had the suspicion that there were more underground but she couldn't be sure. There were tennis courts, a basketball court, stables, an Olympic-sized pool both inside and out, and the latest technology in the computer rooms. The kitchen was huge with professional-grade appliances and she soon discovered that everyone was given some small food allowance to get whatever struck their fancy when the grocery shopping was done. Since she had more than enough of her own money she left herself off the list.

Discovering a veritable forest behind the school shouldn't have surprised her but somehow it did. She went in one day when the weather wasn't bitingly cold, following a well-used path that never seemed to end. She judged she'd gone something like three quarters of a mile when a body of water came into sight, a small boathouse and dock right along the shore. A lone figure sat on the end of the dock and as she got closer she found Logan sitting there with his back against a pylon, smoking a cigar.

"Hey, darlin'," he greeted without turning.

"How'd you ken it was me?" she asked, stopping a few feet away.

"Scent." He turned just his head, tapping the side of his nose. "Got enhanced senses, and everyone's got a scent."

She bit her lip, unsure of how to take that. "Uh, do I smell bad?"

He snorted, shaking his head as he turned back to the water. "Said you had a scent, not a stench." He gestured for her to sit by him and she sat against the other pylon, bringing her knees up against her chest. "You smell like Ivory soap and Jolly Ranchers." He lifted his head and sniffed. "Sour Apple."

Teva boggled at him, still sucking on the piece of candy she favored. "Wow. That must get annoying, smelling everything so strongly."

Logan shrugged, taking a drag and letting smoke curl out from between his lips. There was something slightly obscene about watching him do that, he had a nice mouth and she had a bit of a hand fetish. "Y'ain't too overwhelmin', most women pile on the stinky shit an' I can smell 'em a mile away downwind."

"That 'stinky shit' gives me a bloody headache." She huddled into her jacket, the breeze out here off the water several degrees colder than up near the school. "That and I dinnae care to smell like fake flowers or food, I dinnae get the appeal."

"Won't hear me complainin'."

The sat in companionable silence for a time, watching the wind create ripples over the water, gulls calling somewhere in the distance.

"The Atlantic feeds in here," Logan said randomly at one point. "Spuyten Duyvil Cove. The Dutch named it that 'cause the water's so rough out this way."

"Bet it's colder than a witch's tit, too."

"I don't think I've ever heard anyone under the age of 50 say that with a straight face."

Teva laughed, looking down but still smiling. "Water's a hell of a lot colder where I'm from. All kinds of nasty wee beasties live thereabouts as well." She glanced up again into the distance. The fog along the banks made her long for Scotland again so she spoke about it.

"There's kelpies in the lochs. They're water horses that lure you in sometimes by pretending to be beautiful lasses, the better to get the men, and sometimes as ponies to entice children. If one catches you it'll dive back into the water and drown you." She chewed on the end of one fingernail. "O' course, if you manage to catch one, you'll have a creature stronger than ten land horses to work your land, but you have to be careful. They're slippery bastards, so to speak, and they'll do anything to get away. They'll bite off your left leg and your right pinkie before they escape."

"That's about the weirdest legend I think I've ever heard, and I've been to Japan."

Teva scoffed at him. "At least we dinnae make tentacle porn in Scotland. Or sell used schoolgirl panties out of vending machines."

He laughed, waving a hand at her. "Got me there, darlin'. It's a weird country, to be sure." He took another drag. "They actually play the bagpipes a lot where you're from?"

"Mostly to appease the tourists," she replied quickly, tauntingly. She could play them herself but rarely did, and didn't have her own set. "We sure as hell dinnae play 'Amazing Grace' as often as you bloody Americans would like."

Logan smirked. "I'm Canadian, babe. I don't understand Americans any more 'n you do."

"Ooh, so do you like hockey?"

"You keep teasin' me, sweetheart, an' I'm gonna think you like me."

That made her blush and bite her lip again but she didn't evade his eyes. "So what if I do?" she asked, feeling impetuous. She hadn't felt this good in years, this free, her secret out and no longer weighing on her soul.

"You're barkin' up the wrong tree." He said it with humor but she sensed some underlying melancholy to it, some darkness that slid behind his eyes. "I'm the lone wolf o' the bunch an' I don't play well with others."

"You dinnae sound like you believe your own words, Logan. Besides," she said, shoving her hands in her pockets before they froze off, "even wolves travel in packs. The lone wolf is the one who dies the quickest."

He didn't say anything to that, just turned his head and looked away out over the water again. She wasn't sure if she'd angered him but she wasn't going to pry, wasn't going to lower her shields enough to find out because they hadn't built that level of trust yet.

The hood of her coat kept the worst of the breeze off but her ears were stinging anyway, bared by the braid she'd put her hair into. The right one was especially cold because of the line of surgical steel hoops that marched along the outside, getting smaller the closer they got to the top. The damn things attracted the cold but she liked them and wouldn't be getting rid of them anytime soon, she'd just have to remember to wear a hat more often in the winter.

She wanted to say something to Logan, wanted to know what he was thinking. She couldn't help feeling drawn by him, feel some connection to him because, ultimately, it had been him that had convinced her to come here. Anyone else may have gotten a few moments of consideration and then a dismissal, but Logan seemed like the most unlikely spokesperson for mutant unity and a school nonetheless. He was more out of place here than she was but somehow he managed to seem like he belonged here, just another part of the tapestry Xavier had woven. She wasn't entirely sure how he'd feel to know any of that, thought maybe it would annoy him or irritate him, so she let it be, let her thoughts drift out over the water like the wind.

At some point Logan cleared his throat. "Can hear your teeth chatterin', Teva. I'll walk you back inside." He got up and offered her a hand, popping her up easily and dislodging her hood. She nearly jerked back when he reached out to pull it back up for her and she could see he was as confused by the gesture as she was but he completed it, eyes gone blank and unreadable now.

They walked back together, breath fogging in the air though his left behind the spicy scent of his cigar. She watched him out of the corner of her eye, entranced at the simple, easy grace of his body so out of synch with how he looked. He put her very much in mind of the animal he seemed to have chosen as his namesake, short and compactly-muscled with a temper to match, yet he moved like some kind of jungle cat, all smooth and controlled. He didn't make a sound and she wondered if his enhanced senses allowed him to move so quietly, like a wraith that she wouldn't know was there had she not been able to see him.

Getting back inside made her nose, ears, and fingers tingle painfully as feeling returned now that they were in relative warmth. Wordlessly they both headed down into the adults' wing.

"Logan." She said his name as his hand was on his door, right next to hers. "Look, I'm sorry about what I said back there. I do kinda like you but I'll leave it be, I dinnae want to stir up trouble."

Those dark eyes swiveled to hers and made her uncomfortably aware of how attractive she'd found him the first time she saw him. She swallowed hard, her lip caught by her teeth again.

"Been alone a long time, Teva," he said quietly. "Don't much act on impulses just because my body's tellin' me it wants something. Things get complicated and if you're livin' here now I don't wanna fuck up the balance."

She breathed out, found herself nodding. "No, it's fine, Logan. I can respect that. You get emotions involved and sanity goes out the window."

He nodded once, sharply. "Don't apologize for what you said, you didn't know." He opened his door and went inside, saying, "Now ya do," before he closed it.

Teva went into her own room, leaning against the door when she'd closed it again. Part of her had really wanted to call Logan on his obvious lack of conviction but she reminded herself again that she didn't really know him. And she wasn't the pushy sort, the kind of girl who hung on every little thing a guy said or did analyzing whether or not it meant he liked her.

Neither did she want to give up the one friendship she'd formed as of yet. No, better to leave well enough alone. The status quo was perfectly fine with her.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Since that day on the dock Teva hadn't seen much of Logan, as he seemed to make himself scarce. There were a few run-ins, usually at meals or late at night in the adult's rec room, but not much beyond that. It never extended beyond some semi-awkward small talk, usually him asking how she was doing and her filling him in on her progress. She was beginning to work with Xavier on her telepathy now that she felt steadier on her feet and that took up a lot of her time and effort.

She usually found herself so tired by the end of the day from her lessons and her explorations that she slept quickly and soundly without a drop of alcohol. What Logan had said to her when he'd showed up at her door had bothered her enough to throw out her entire stash, like she'd told him, and those first few nights alone with nothing had been hell. 

Only the realization that she was turning into her mother, and the look on Logan's face, got her through it.  
  
She still got lost in the mansion from time to time but those incidences were becoming fewer and far between as body memory began to kick in.

One thing she was glad to discover was a gymnasium with several punching bags sequestered to one side. She'd never been trained in any kind of martial arts but she knew how to brawl; she'd been in enough bar fights with guys who thought they could drink her under the table or swindle her at billiards, enough to learn how to defend herself and go on the offensive if need be.

She was there one day when Logan came by, looking for her, seemingly in a hurry. "Hey, you goin' anywhere tonight?"

"No, why?" she asked, confused.

"We need you to keep an eye on things, there's some shit goin' down an' we need to take care of it, but we're takin' most o' the team."

Teva frowned, feeling like he was speaking another language. "What the bloody hell are you talking about, Logan?"

"The X-Men," he replied, as if that was answer enough. "Xavier's team of superheroes. We fight for good and some other random bullshit I'm forgettin'."

He touched her arm, gripping it lightly. "We found some kind o' facility, they might be holdin' mutants there and doin' stuff to 'em." There was anger in his voice and eyes she didn't truly understand. "We're gonna bust 'em out. Can you handle things here?"

"I -- uh --" She shook herself. "Yeah, I can do that. I'm sure some of the older kids can help out."

Logan pulled her close and kissed her forehead. "Thanks. We'll be back ... fuck knows when, but we'll be back."

The gesture confused her and she blinked a couple times, unsure of how to react. After everything he'd said, for him to do that made no damn sense. "Um, right. Be careful?"

He bared his teeth at her. "Don't worry 'bout me, babe. Unkillable, remember?"

She _hmmphed_ at him and couldn't help worrying. She headed back to her room for a quick shower before heading upstairs, her thoughts as she went broken by what sounded like a sonic boom. She jumped about a mile, then jerked again when a hand touched her back.

"Sorry, _chere_ , Remy didn' mean t' spook ya."

Teva got her breathing back under control. "You're not one of the X-Men?" she asked, like she really understood what that meant.

"Auxiliary, _réellement_. Didn' need t' go."

"What the hell was that noise just now?"

"Ah, the Blackbird. Stealth jet, can hit somet'in like Mach 3."

"Jesus Christ. You people are kind of insane, y'ken that, right?"

He grinned at her. "How 'bout we go upstairs an' see 'bout the little ones, _oui_?" He didn't wait for her answer, just took her hand and tucked it at the crook of his elbow, and she followed along for lack of anything better to do.

"Do they always come back in one piece?" she asked once they got upstairs.

Remy nodded. "Us'ally. Few cuts an' scrapes, Logan come back wit' more 'n the rest of 'em combined." They came to the door of the rec room where it had apparently been decided that an impromptu _Firefly_ marathon was in order. They ordered some pizzas and everyone settled in all cozy-like, though Teva kept half an ear out for the return of the superheroes.

* * *

  


Teva had fallen asleep in an armchair, part of a seating arrangement across the hallway from her room. She'd watched the marathon of one of her favorite TV shows, endured one of the older girls blathering on about how 'hawt' Sean Maher was (Teva preferred Adam Baldwin), and had to break up a couple who thought that a rec room full of kids was a good place to have a snog. 

Around ten she shooed the younger ones off to bed, tucking in a few who seemed to need the comfort, and she made the older ones ship off after 'Ariel,' the ninth episode that had ended sometime around 2 am. Several of them bitched that they hadn't gotten to finish the set but between her and Remy they got things squared away.

She'd almost gone to her own bed to sleep but she couldn't make herself; people she'd come to accept as friends were off somewhere risking their lives and she wanted to be aware when they came home.

Sometime just after dawn she was woken up by the rising sun's rays shining in through a slit of a window near the ceiling. Her legs were cramped and her neck stiff from being curled up in the chair all night. As she got up to stretch her protesting muscles the far door opened to admit Ororo.

"Is everyone okay?" Teva asked, noticing the other woman's grim countenance and the black leather uniform she wore, with a short cape attached at the back of the collar and the cuffs of the sleeves.

Ororo nodded. "Everyone returned but we were unable to save some of the children. They did not survive what was ... what happened to them."

She remembered what Logan had said about things being done to mutants and horrible experiments came to mind. She thought about the kids she'd spent the night taking care of and felt anger rise up inside of her. "They were hurting children?"

A low growl announced Logan's arrival. His leather uniform was gaping in places, slashes and bullet holes scattered across it. "Fuckin' government doesn't see mutants as human, we're just fodder for their sick ideas."

"Logan ..." Ororo tried to calm him by touching his arm as he went past and he jerked away from her touch.

"Don't 'Logan' me, 'Ro. You got no clue what it's like bein' chained up like a goddamn animal and havin' you insides fucked around with. They were just kids. Fuck!" He pushed past them both, slamming his door open hard enough to make it bounce back off the wall but he was already through and apparently too preoccupied to make sure it closed again all the way.

His anger had gone past fury, straight into something like homicidal rage, and he was projecting so hard, so strongly that Teva was picking up on some of it. It scared her because behind all that anger was fear. He'd seen things that night that had affected him deeply. 

She hadn't even thought him capable of being afraid, which was ridiculous since everyone got scared at some point in their life, but he gave off an attitude of absolute fearlessness. It threw her off balance to feel that emotion from him.

She shared a look with Ororo before following him.

"What the fuck d'you want?"

The Teva from a few months ago would have recoiled and apologized for barging in, unsure of herself and her place in the world, but now she stood her ground, didn't let him bully her. She quietly shut the door behind her. "Ye were gone for 12 hours. I slept in a frigging chair wondering if you'd come back alive or not. Then ye stomp in here with holes in your interesting leather outfit and ye want to ken what the fuck I want?" She put her hands on her hips. "Did ye get in a fight with Edward Scissorhands or something?"

Logan stared at her a moment, as if he was trying to figure out if she bothered him or amused him. "Not too far from the truth." He stripped the top half of his uniform off, revealing a well-muscled and very hairy torso; the leather shell lifted off his body with a sound like silk tearing, dried blood having glued it to his skin.

"There was a girl there, she was a feral and they'd put metal on her claws. Adamantium." Logan rolled his head and shoulders, the loud popping of the bones in his neck firecracker-loud in the small space. "It was bonded to her skeleton, too."

Teva waited a moment before speaking, not quite sure what he was talking about. "Ye said something about Ororo not knowing what it was like to be chained up and fucked around with. Is that what happened to those kids? To that girl?"

"She had a healin' factor like me. No matter how many times I put her down she kept comin' back, barely winded. They'd turned her into a weapon like me." His hands had balled into fists.

Before Teva could ask what he meant, three foot-long blades shot out of each hand, originating just above his knuckles on the back of each hand. The movement was accompanied by a distinctive _snikt_ sound.

"Holy bleeding Christ," she said in reaction. "I'm assuming ye were'nae born with those."

"Nope, some government assholes put 'em in, coated my bones in adamantium, too. Adds to the unkillable bit." He watched warily as she came closer.

She couldn't stop herself from stepping forward and taking one of his hands, holding it with one of hers while she touched the back of the hand, ran a finger a few inches down the back of one blade. She'd felt him tense when she touched him and she could see the blood where they'd come out. "Do they hurt?"

"Comin' out an' goin' in, yeah."

He retracted them while she still held his hand, and she both felt and watched the skin ripple along the backs of his hands as they slid home into his forearms. He reflexively rubbed at the fresh wounds when she let him go and when he moved his fingers away, she saw the skin was unmarked.

Teva stood in front of him. "I'm sorry they hurt ye. And those kids. No one deserves that."

Logan grunted. "The fuckers who did this shit deserve it."

"No argument there." Her gaze traveled over his body. "All those holes and not even a scratch on you. I bruise if I bump into anything."

A small smile curved his lips. "It comes in handy sometimes, I guess." He bent to pull his boots off, then started undoing the clasp on his pants.

Teva raised an eyebrow and stepped back, averting her eyes when he slid the pants off. "Whoa, modest much?"

"Never have been. Am I embarrassin' you?"

She snorted. "Nothing I have'nae seen before, though none quite so bloody hairy." With only a minimal amount of effort, she met his eyes again, saw the amusement there and the slightest bit of arrogance at her appreciation of his body. "I always thought leather was chafing."

He laughed as he headed towards the bathroom, muscles moving fluidly under his skin. Damn, that was a very nice ass. "There's no room for anything, the pants are too tight."

Teva couldn't take her eyes off of him and it wasn't entirely lust on her part. Watching him move was a treat. "Ah, panty lines. Though I guess it would be  boxer lines, since guys dinnae wear panties, at least not most." She snickered. "Maybe a thong would work?" She heard him turning on the shower.

"You shittin' me?" he called out. "Thongs are fer strippers."

"At least there's no zipper. That would suck."

His answer was a groan. "Thanks fer the mental image, I really needed that." He stuck his head out, steam beginning to creep out from the open door. "Wanna get some breakfast off-grounds?"

"Let me take a shower first."

"No problem. Garage in 30, and be sure to wear a warm coat."

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, back when this story was more movieverse than comicverse, the girl Logan encounters at the facility was Deathstrike. I've changed her here, to the Native, a feral from the comics who was indeed experimented on. Seeing as Logan and Lady Deathstryke (as she's called in the comics) have a long history, I felt she was a poor choice.


	6. Chapter 6

Logan waited for her in the garage, sitting sideways on his bike and cupping his hands around a match as he lit a cigar. He heard her coming and smirked at the look on her face when she came around the corner.

"I cannae believe you want to ride a motorcycle when it's below freezing out. Are all Canadians part polar bear or is that just the big ones?"

"You got a mouth on ya there, darlin'." He tossed her a helmet off the shelf. "Let's go. There's a diner I know of, got great food."

She nodded and put the helmet on after twisting her hair up inside, then she slipped onto the bike behind him. He kickstarted the bike and jerked when her hands came around him and she shoved them into his coat pockets. "I dinnae have gloves," she said. He laughed but the bike drowned it out as they roared down the drive.

She was a distraction against his back, would have been a dangerous one if he hadn't been riding motorcycles for as long as he could remember. It was his preferred mode of transportation since he never took much with him when he traveled anyway.

Her arms were tight around his torso, her breasts pressed against his back and her thighs pressed up against the sides of his legs. She squeezed her legs when he did in turns and he couldn't tell if it was an automatic reaction or if she'd ridden before, but either way it was doing things to his brain.

It was almost disheartening, then, to pull into the parking lot of the diner and have her unwind her body from around his. He found he couldn't keep his eyes off of her when she took the helmet off and shook her hair out, leaving it to fall in a dark red curtain around her upper body.

She stared at him a moment, seemed to be caught in his gaze before she shook herself and walked inside with him following.

It was still early which meant it wasn't crowded, not on a weekday morning, so they snagged a corner booth and got down to business, sitting across from each other. The waitress didn't seemed phased by how much food Logan ordered, but Teva raised an eyebrow at him when she finally walked away, her attention then going to fixing her coffee the way she liked it.

"What?" he asked. "After a fight like that I either hafta sleep or eat to balance out the healin' factor. Don't feel much like sleepin' right now, I'm all revved up."

She was biting her lip again and giving him that look like she wasn't sure what his deal was, but he liked it when she did that. Her lower lip was full and he kept thinking of freeing it from its trap so he could nibble on it himself.

"I can imagine," she said finally. She put her hands on the table, seemed to be examining her chipped purple nail polish very closely. "I really was worried about you, all of you. The kids kind of made the X-Men sound like the most glamorous and cool thing ever, but you all could have died. Judging by the state of your uniform you'd be dead several times over."

"But we didn't die, did we?" he challenged, taking his cigar out of his mouth where he'd wedged it on the drive over. He leaned his head back and blew a couple smoke rings. He wasn't sure what kind of reaction he'd get from poking at her.

Teva huffed at him. "That's no the bloody point," she spat, her Scottish accent broadening with strong emotion. "You're such a damned man, Logan. Death is a possibility for everyone, and ye think that just because ye have a healing factor and sharp claws that it'll never come for ye."

"Why d'you care so much?" he asked, not entirely sure if he wanted the answer to that. The complications he hadn't wanted seemed to entangle him even without his intending them to.

She was fiddling with a silver Celtic knot ring on her right hand. "I never said I did. Ye can go cark it for all I care."

He coughed, reaching for his glass of water. "Cark it?" he managed to get out after he drained half the glass.

"Means 'die'." She let her hair fall into her face, a way to hide the fact she was blushing. _" Póg mo thóin,"_ she muttered angrily.

"What did you say?" he asked, his eyebrow going up.

"If ye cannae understand the Gaelic I'm no telling ye what it means."

He left it alone and silence fell over the table as the waitress brought their food. He really was ravenous, felt like there was a black hole in his gut, gnawing at his spine. It was an excuse to not talk, to not think about where the conversation had been headed.

Teva dug in, too, apparently feeling little need to curse at him in foreign tongues again. She was finished before he was, though, and she sat back in her seat, alternately watching the rest of the diner and him.

When the check came he grabbed it before she could, smirking when she glared at him again. Damn but it was fun to rile her up and watch her temper rise. She was outside waiting for him after he paid and he grabbed her hand before she could put the helmet on. He wasn't sure if he did it out of contrition or a need to touch her.

"Listen, Teva, I didn't mean to make you mad, least not entirely. I'm not used to anyone givin' a shit if I live or die." He smiled. "Although I did kinda like hearin' you talk the way you did." It was honest, there was something about her accent and the cadence of her words he liked.

"Maybe I'll curse at ye some more, then," she said, kicking his foot. "I dinnae like being put on the spot."

Logan rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand, waiting for her to look at him. "I'll try not to do that, then."

She finally lifted her gaze from his chest to look him in the eyes.

He heard her breath catch, watched her tongue dart out to wet her lower lip and suddenly he was wondering what she tasted like. He knew he shouldn't kiss her, shouldn't let it go this far but sometimes the beast reared its head and he was hard pressed to stomp it back down, especially when her pupils were spinning out to engulf the golden brown of her irises and her breath was coming a little faster. He'd blame it on his libido before he'd admit to anything else.

 _Ah, fuck it_. His other hand moved to curl around the back of her neck and he pulled her mouth down the last inch or so of their height difference to his. He ran his tongue along her lips and tasted the remnants of strawberry lip gloss before she gave him access to her mouth and he sank inside with a quiet groan of pleasure, heard her whimper and then the helmet fell from her fingers to smack against the pavement of the parking lot.

Her arms came up around him, one hand sinking into his unruly hair, and her body moved restlessly against his. He wanted to feel the heat of her skin against his and slid a hand inside her jacket, up under her shirt.

He broke the kiss when he felt the last of his control slipping. He actually had to catch his breath. "Jesus, girl, where the hell'd you learn to kiss like that?"

She cleared her throat, blinking rapidly before she smiled sweetly at him. "Practice."

He _hmmphed_ at her as he bent to pick up her helmet and hand it to her. "I'm not sure I wanna know what you mean by that."

"I would'nae tell you, anyway," she said, twisting up her hair before she put the helmet back on so that it was secure inside. She straddled the bike and patted the seat, her eyes still grinning at him even if he couldn't see her mouth. "A lady does'nae kiss and tell."

"You're not a lady," he shot back. "I don't think ladies wear steel toe boots."

"Or have calluses on their fingers from guitar strings." She wrapped her arms around him again as he gunned the engine.

The trip back to the mansion seemed shorter and he found he didn't want to leave her company just yet, so he followed her inside and down to her room.

She didn't say anything as she took her coat off, laying it over the back of her desk chair, her scarf following after she'd untwined it from her neck.

Logan looked at her guitars, flicking a finger over a string on her Ibanez. "You been playin' at all?"

"A little." She shrugged. "Just have'nae had the heart to play much lately." Absently she picked up the Washburn acoustic and sat down on the windowseat, cradling the instrument against her body.

He leaned up against the wall next to her, just listening to her pick out random tunes on the strings. Finally a discernible melody emerged and her soft alto voice picked up, singing the words to Kansas' "Dust in the Wind." Her eyes slid closed.

At first Logan wasn't entirely sure why his mood started to shift south, changed from hazy contentment to sharp melancholy, until he realized his mood had changed when she started singing. She didn't seem to realize she was projecting.

She looked up when he touched her shoulder. "What?" she asked, eyes distant.

"You project somethin' other than your voice when you sing," he said softly, brushing her hair back from her face with his hand. "I didn't mean to make you sad mentionin' your music."

Teva shrugged. "I think I just miss playing for people sometimes. Listening to the crowd sing back my own words, hearing them scream when they recognize the opening chords to their favorite songs ... kind of hard to fall from a god-like status to this, whatever I am now."

"You're still Teva Lawson, nothin' changed that." His hand had lingered against her hair, touched her shoulder again. "The record company was a bunch of dumbasses for droppin' you like they did. Not like you can fuckin' help who ya are."

"Does'nae really matter anymore. I cannae go back to that." She got up, putting the guitar back on its stand before turning to look out the window at the snow that had begun to fall. "No really sure I'd want to go back to being on a tour bus, bored out of my bloody mind and half-ready to kill anyone who looks at me sideways."

Logan moved up behind her, slipping his arm around her back. He couldn't deny that it felt right to touch her. The fact that it didn't feel quite so much like lust anymore (though that was still there flickering at the base of his spine) should have been a warning sign. "Could put out a solo album, like Warren said."

"That'd be my only choice." She'd turned to bury her face against his neck.

"Just be careful around him." He growled when she nipped at his earlobe. "Don't do that."

"Warren's an ass and I've known that for years. Why cannae I do that?" she asked, lifting her head enough to look at him. She was getting that heated look again, the one that threatened to burn him up.

"Just think about it and smack him around if he gets grabby." He hauled her closer. "And you can't do that because it makes me wanna get handsy."

That got a laugh from her. "'Get handsy'? That's a new one." She shifted so that her lips were a breath from his. "Not sure I'd complain if ye did that, though. It's been a while since I've been roughed up."

"Roughed up?" It was his turn to laugh. "I always figured you for a girl who liked it rough."

"Oh, ye have no idea," she purred, dragging her fingertips along his neck and smiling. "Only bad thing is that I bruise easy."

Logan growled because he'd just been thinking about the marks he could leave on that pale skin. "Careful there, darlin'," he said when her hand stroked low along his back, above his belt.

"I can teach ye some naughty words in Scots," she said, her tone still playful but her voice lowering, becoming a little husky. "Like 'houghmagandie.'"

"If that means what I think it means, you might wanna kick me out of you room an' bar the door."

Teva laughed. "I'm a big girl, I think I can take care of --" He cut her off by kissing her, couldn't think of anything else, needed to taste her again. He must have done it hard enough to knock her lip back into her teeth because he tasted her blood and it made him a little insane, began to shred the last bits of his control.

He pushed her up against the wall and got his hand under her shirt again, fingers splayed across her side to hold her against him. She was putting off almost as much heat as he did and she was gasping for breath as he nipped his way from her mouth to her neck, his teeth leaving a burning trail over her skin.

"God, please," she begged, her own hand tugging his shirt out of his pants to dig short, blunt nails in along his spine. Her hips rocked against his and she cried out when his hand slid down her thigh before pulling it up to hook around his body, letting him grind himself against the hottest part of her.

He knew he was losing it, his vision narrowing down as the animal inside of him tried to wrest control from him. He still fed from her mouth like he'd crawl inside of her but he'd let go of her with his hands, pressing them into the wall on either side of her and letting her direct the kiss. Finally he jerked away, took a couple steps back.

"Logan?" Her voice was breathy but worried. "What's wrong? What happened?"

He scrubbed a hand over his face but only served to get more of her scent in his nose, then the hand moved up into his hair. "You do things to me, darlin'," he said, finally looking at her.

"If it's any consolation, I was'nae exactly unaffected by that," she replied, her voice steady now.

"Y'don't get it. I'm not a kind, gentle lover, Teva; I don't have it in me to be." He paced a few more steps away, not trusting himself to be that close to her just now. "Losing control is somethin' I fight against, 'specially when I'm around you, babe."

"I'm no afraid of ye."

When he looked at her he knew it was the animal peeking out, viewing her not as a woman but as a potential mate. He watched her push back into the wall, palms pressed flat against it, and he could smell the mixed fear and lust. Fuck, but he craved that like oxygen. "Goddammit," he ground out, turning around and leaving before he did something he'd regret. He needed a cold shower right this fucking second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Póg mo thóin_ \- Kiss my ass  
>  _Houghmagandie_ \- fornication/fucking


	7. Chapter 7

Teva stared after Logan and knew she'd narrowly escaped something, wasn't entirely sure if that was okay with her or not. Her body still burned and she'd never had a man look at her like he wanted to devour her, mark her, claim her as his own. The emotions she'd gotten from him were jumbled, a mess of things she understood and others she didn't. She needed to get out of her room, away from the scene of the crime so to speak, and her need for calm took her to the greenhouse, but she found she wasn't alone when she got there.

Professor Xavier sat in his wheelchair, a colorful granny square afghan thrown over his legs, and he smiled when he saw her. If he noticed her disheveled appearance he didn't remark on it.

"Hello, Teva."

She nodded in greeting, taking a seat on the bench he sat next to. "I guess I'm not the only one who needed some quiet."

"It's peaceful here," he agreed. "I wanted to ask you if the telepathy lessons were benefiting you, we haven't had much time to talk lately what with my being gone at Congress." He was speaking out against the Mutant Registration Act as he always did.

"Aye, they're helping greatly, Charles. I admit I'm still struggling to maintain my shields and since I dinnae have anyone else to practice with while you're gone, it's been difficult for me to keep up on what you've been teaching me."

"Would a brief lesson now help?"

She wasn't sure if she wanted him in her head when she'd just been making out with Logan not ten minutes before, but she nodded. "I guess so, it cannae hurt to try."

"Good girl. Just relax, Teva, like always."

There was the gentlest brush against her mind and she let him in, lowering her shields just enough to allow the link to establish. It was always easier with him guiding her. _~Can you hear me?~_ came his disembodied voice, sounding as if it was pulled from her own subconscious.

She struggled to find her own voice, like using a muscle that had atrophied. _~Aye, I can hear you.~_

 _~Excellent.~_ She felt rather than saw him smile. _~Now, let's see if you can still maintain the link on your own.~_ She felt him withdraw and panicked for a moment, still so unsure of herself despite the fact she'd done it numerous times in the recent past. Her hands lifted as if to catch him and hold him there and then she felt the link stabilize. She breathed a little easier.

_~Wonderful, Teva. You grow stronger with every session. Now, see if you can still withdraw from my mind on your own.~_

The panic came back, because she could feel the strength of his mind dwarfing hers. There was no hostile intent in him, though, and after a few moments of intense concentration she was able to pull her mind out.

Her eyes opened and she felt herself sway, a little weak and dizzy as she always was after such a feat.

"Careful, child, it will take a few moments to adjust to being back on this plane." He patted her arm. "Just breath normally."

There was something surreal to her about being called 'child' but she didn't protest because it felt right to hear that from him. He was the parent she'd wanted growing up, the one she'd prayed her own parents would turn into despite knowing she'd always be disappointed.

"Now, how have you been doing, otherwise?"

Teva shrugged, fiddling with her rings. "No so bad, I guess I'm still not sure if I want to teach, at least not a lot of kids or anything. I might be able to do private, individual lessons with piano and guitar, maybe voice."

"That would be wonderful, Teva. All you have to do is let me know when you'd like to start." He smiled that warm, encompassing smile of his again. "And I'm glad that you have been making an attempt to integrate the people here into your life. I know it hasn't been easy for you, but it's a wonderful testament to the healing power of friends."

Teva wanted to laugh at his grand outlook on life but in a way she wanted it to be true. "How are those kids doing, the ones the others rescued?"

Xavier's smile faded. "They were only able to save four of them, out of 10, and of those four only two survived the journey here. They are recovering, but one is in a coma."

"I'm sorry that people do things like that," Teva said. "It makes me afraid to go out in public, because now people know what I am."

"You are a person, Teva. Never let anyone tell you different."

She laughed softly. "I try, Professor, but it does'nae always work." She stretched her arms over her head as she got to her feet. "I'll see you later, Charles. Thank you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With Xavier home for the next few weeks Teva was able to continue her practice sessions with him. She continued to grow in strength and control, gaining the ability to communicate psychically when they weren't in the same room with each other. And with her growing strength she was able to finally have him remove his shields. She was amazed to find that her own were now sufficient to protect her.

"Will I be able to establish links like ours with non-telepaths?" she asked one day. They were in the garden again, their favored spot for practice.

"The stronger the other person's mind, and the more emotion you have for them, the easier it will be to form a connection," he told her, pleased that she asked so many questions. "Of course, no matter how strong their mind, the link may not be as complete as with another telepath. I do know that Scott and Jean have a unique link, and I've speculated that it helps he also carries the X gene."

She nodded, taking that in. She still found it odd to open her mind and hear the thoughts of those around her without getting headaches, and she was careful not to pry into any minds. Even if she'd wanted to, Xavier put a sort of blanket protection over everyone in the school, keeping them safe; she wasn't strong enough to get past defenses he put up, and it was doubtful she'd ever have half his strength.

"Have you see Logan lately?" she asked suddenly. He was definitely avoiding her and she wanted very badly to kick him in the shins. Possibly the bollocks, too. Even so he was the reason she'd asked about links with non-telepaths, she didn't want to be unprepared should something happen with him. He scrambled her brain and her body, made her worry about her somewhat-tentative control of her powers.

Xavier shook his head. "I've seen him less than usual the last couple of weeks. He has moods sometimes, where he just doesn't want to be around other people, but he always comes around again." He patted her hand. "I'm sure everything is fine. Take the rest of the afternoon and enjoy some of the cookies the girls have been baking all week."

Teva was more than happy to obey, her mind now on Logan rather than her lessons. She took the Professor's advice and snagged a handful of brightly decorated sugar cookies, polishing them off by the time she'd gotten to the gym. She shrugged off her light jacket and set it aside along with a bottle of water before she went through a routine that set several body-sized punching bags swinging on their chains.

When she stopped to catch her breath, something made her look up and she saw Logan standing near the door, watching her.

"You're verrae good at avoiding people," she said, unable to keep the hurt from her voice. "I was beginning to think I'd imagined that morning after breakfast."

His dark eyes followed her as she picked up the water bottle and sipped from it.

"I guess you're no going to talk to me, then. Whatever," she said angrily, turning way from him to go back to her routine. It was easy to imagine that it was him she was punching and kicking.

A strong hand stopped her arm before she could land another punch. "I almost took you right there that day, Teva, I ain't fuckin' proud o' that."

"I was willing and ye knew that."

"You had no idea what you were offerin' me, and your gonna have to understand things before I take it."

She yanked her hand away, feeling anger suffuse her further. "Excuse me? I dinnae get a fucking choice in this?"

Logan matched the heat in her voice. "You do. If you want me, you have only me. No one else."

"Will I be the only one for you, Logan, should this come to pass?"

He growled, snarling at her. "You fuckin' know ya will be. I don't screw around like that."

She laughed harshly. "No, I _did'nae_ ken that, especially since ye seem to think I'd be screwing around on you, ye wee gobshite." She crossed her arms beneath her breasts. "So when exactly will this taking of me be happening? I'd like to make sure it does'nae conflict with anything else on my schedule."

With another growl he punched one of the bags, his claws come out at the last second to shred the vinyl so that little bits of foam fell out like snow. "This isn't a fuckin' joke."

"I did'nae say it was. I'm just fucking pissed at being told what I will and will not do. If ye think to play the caveman with me I will'nae go all demure-like."

Before she could react he grabbed her, his claws retracting as he pressed his lips against hers and took possession of her mouth. She moaned, her body going liquid in his hands, and dammit, she didn't want it to right now. She was pissed.

In that moment where her body fought to keep from surrendering, some part of her remembered Xavier telling her that her shields would be weaker when her emotions ran high, when she was around someone she felt very strongly about, and that she'd have less control over her strengthened and refined telepathic powers.

On a sigh, her head tilted sideways, and she felt herself slip her body, establishing a tenuous connection with the man currently nibbling on her neck.

"What the fuck?" Logan asked, body jolting. He was looking at her and she found it hard to focus. "Teva? What the hell was that?"

She shook her head, taking a deep breath as if coming up out of water. "I ... my mind. Xavier's been helping me develop my telepathy. He warned me I'd be weaker if I lost control of myself." She wasn't completely sure what had happened in that split second, so she wasn't lying when she said, "I'm no sure exactly what just happened."

And then she pushed away from him. "Let me go, I'm pissed at ye. Ye dinnae get to manhandle me when I'm angry."

A growl laced his words as he spoke. "Don't tempt me, girl. Anger makes it better, anyway."

"Get bent, Logan. I'm no ready to deal with this. I did'nae coming here looking for something complicated." Without waiting to hear what he had to say she grabbed her jacket and stalked off.

It was a damned good thing her room was soundproofed, because she spent the next few hours banging out every heavy metal song she could think of on her Gibson.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took a few nights to figure out that letting Logan kiss her again was the exact worst thing she could have done, especially since now all she had to guard her were her own shields, her own mental strength.

Teva had gone to bed at what was an early hour for her, having spent an exhausting but entirely fulfilling day building snow forts and snowmen families, then getting involved in a knock-down-drag-out snowball war. It left her tired and sore but very happy, very content. So she wasn't entirely pleased to have her dreams invaded.

_One minute she was discussing Eastern philosophy with a purple hippo that wore a top hat and a monocle, and the next she was sprawled across a huge bed, a heavy weight pinning her into it. It took but a moment to realize who it was, and that it wasn't her dream; she knew how to get out of her own dreams but she was helpless to end this one. She wasn't sure she wanted to, anyway._

_His lips were like fire on her skin, coming up to delve the depths of her mouth before moving on again, teasing her, tempting her, making her cry out for more. Her hands clenched in the sheets as her body burned. He whispered something to her that she didn't understand until he screamed it._

_~Help me!~_

_The dream changed again, this time so violently that she was left disoriented, more so than with the usual transitions of the sleep phases. It was dark here, cold, wet, and the colors were washed out. There were people in the room dressed in strange outfits, some wearing what looked like lab coats._

_She could see the edges of a tank between their legs and when they shifted places she could see a body in it, submerged in a liquid that bubbled from beneath and gave the skin a greenish cast. Whoever it was had tubes connected to them, breathing apparatus and myriad other things she couldn't even begin to identify. She heard a strangle gurgling sound and took a step forward._

_There was a small holding tank filled with a liquid that looked like quicksilver, bubbles breaking on the surface as the level of the liquid dropped. A blood-curdling scream shattered the murmurs; she dropped to her knees in excruciating pain, clawing at what felt like fire burning beneath her skin._

_She staggered to her feet again, leaning against a support beam while she relearned how to breathe. The pain had lessened enough for her to get closer to the tank, and what she saw there made her knees want to buckle again._

_It was Logan, eyes closed as he fought to get free from something holding him down and she couldn't tell if he was actually completely aware of what was going on or if he was unconsciously reacting to the pain. The tubes connected to his body were pumping adamantium into him, fusing it to his bones, killing what he'd been to make way for the new being._

_~Help me~ she heard again, a whisper so filled with pain that it brought tears to her eyes._

_His own eyes opened then and, as he screamed the words once more, she woke up._

Teva lay there sobbing for a moment, clutching the sheets to her chest and wondering what the hell had just happened. Before she was entirely aware of her actions she had pulled on clothes and was out her door, hesitating at Logan's before opening it.

He was moving restlessly, the sheets tangled around his legs and the pillow tossed onto the floor, ripped open in three furrows that leaked fluff. The claws were nowhere to be seen now but she was still reluctant to get too close; she'd seen the damage they could do.

The only chance she would have would be to use her mind to get into his, this time with every ounce of control and awareness she had. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, then felt herself fall away.

_~Logan~ she said, hoping the use of his name would draw him out. ~Logan, it's a nightmare. You're stronger than it. Fight back.~_

_~Can't~ came the reply. ~Don't know how.~_

_Her astral self opened her eyes and she found herself back in that room, the same scene being played out. She merely wished the people out of existence and they were gone, leaving only her, and Logan in the tank._

_She drifted forward, looking down at him, all the tubes covered his body. ~They're gone now. You have nothing left to fight.~ With barely a thought the tubes disappeared and he was free._

_He leapt out of the water, grabbing at her in a panic. She felt one fist pressed under her chin, ready to spring forth claws should she prove a threat._

Free now of the dream, they both came back to their bodies, gasping for air.

Teva was surprised to find Logan hold her the same way, fist pressed under her chin. When he saw her he let go, tumbling off the bed in an effort to get away.

"Goddammit," he growled, scrubbing at his face with both hands, seemingly unaware he was naked. "What in God's name are you doin' in here? I could have killed you!"

She shook on the bed, hugging her arms around her middle as she tried to get used to being back in her body. That had been the most difficult, painful thing she'd ever done. "I -- ye pulled me into your nightmare. I managed to wake up but I knew ye were stuck in there, still."

"How the hell could I have done that?"

"Our minds. Or my mind, more specifically." As she breathed deeply she felt herself begin to calm down, even as the man behind her panicked a bit. "Just like I seem to make ye lose control by merely existing, whenever you're around it's everything I can do to keep my barriers up. Ye knock them all down with just a kiss." She ran fingers through her sleep-tangled hair. "Xavier told me it was a possibility that a link could form between me and anyone I felt strong emotion towards, and I'd say that ye qualify."

Logan stood by the window, arms braced against the wall with his back towards her.

"Say something? Please?" She hated to hear pleading in her voice.

"I didn't get a whole hell of a lot o' choice in this telepathic shit," he growled. "Gimme a fuckin' second to deal with it."

Teva shut her mouth, feeling tears coming into her eyes again. She bit back a sob and screwed her eyes shut, willing the pain away.

"Dammit, Tev," he said, and then he was sitting next to her, pulling her into his arms. "I'm sorry, darlin', I really am. I didn't make it any easier on ya by pushin'."

"No, ye did'nae," she said, but there wasn't much heat to her voice. "I'm sorry that I did what I did tonight. It made the bond stronger, and there's no way to break it without a whole hell of a lot of pain and work."

He stroked her hair, holding her head against his shoulder. "I didn't say I wanted the link broken, now did I?" He tilted her chin up to make her look at him. "There was somethin' there between us even before this, and we both know it."

A thought seemed to occur to him. "Were you there before the nightmare, or did you come in durin' it?"

She blushed, heat creeping up her face. "Um ... there were a few minutes before that. I --"

"Don't finish that sentence. I don't think my heart could stand it." He looked down at her and she could see he was still uncomfortable but that he was trying. "Stay with me tonight? I promise I won't molest you."

"Says the naked man holding me in his arms." It shocked a laugh out of her. "Are ye sure? Ye seemed verrae ready to go before."

"After that nightmare I don't have it in me." He shuddered involuntarily and let her go to dig a pair of jogging shorts out of his dresser, pulling them on. "On my honor, or whatever the hell you want, I'll keep my hands and all other body parts to myself."

A smile bloomed on her face. "If ye think ye can hold me and still be a gentlemen and, uh, keep the clawing to a minimum, I'll stay."

"Not a problem." He crawled back into bed and pulled her in with him. She felt content enough to push her body back into his so that they spooned together, tugging one of his arms around so that she could hug it. She shook a bit as she settled down, her mind still processing what she'd done with it, but she was aware enough even as she drifted off that he was still awake. Her last waking thought was to wonder if he would stay awake all night, or if he was just waiting for her to sleep before he let himself follow.


	8. Chapter 8

Logan had a lot on his mind, between what had happened with Teva the other night and the rumblings he was hearing that there might be another lab in operation. Charles had talked to the girl they'd rescued and gotten her to open up some, and she'd mentioned that she'd been transferred to that facility from another one. Once she'd consented to a mind scan some of the information she gave became clearer but Xavier was still working on it, trying to narrow things down.

Few things could make Logan want to fly into a homicidal, berserker rage the way mutant experimentation did. He remembered enough of the Weapon X project and what had been done to him to know it had been government sanctioned, maybe not officially but at some higher, deeper level, some governing body had okayed the procedure. They'd tried to make the ultimate killing machine and they'd succeeded right before they'd paid for it in blood.

He hated that Teva had seen those nightmares, seen how dark and horrifying they were. No one else knew the full extent of them, not even Charles or Jean who had tried to help him unlock his memories of the past. He kept that locked up tight with years of practice in not broadcasting the psychic equivalent of distress calls to anyone with the talent to pick up on it. He had his own not-insignificant psi-shields, some strange side effect of the brainwashing from Weapon X and the adamantium coating his skull. That helped keep his secret. Teva wasn't a strong enough psi to get past something like that, shouldn't have been, but in a way he'd let her do it. He'd gone back on what he'd said about not getting involved by letting himself act on the attraction, and that had given her the way into his mind.

That alone should have told him he was farther gone on the girl than he'd intended to let himself fall. After the loss of Mariko he'd made the conscious decision to wall that part of himself up like that Poe story, leave it bricked up until it choked and died for lack of oxygen and light. He was still capable of love and caring for his family but he'd decided there was no room in his life for losing another lover. Not when he could remember losing others in the past; even if he couldn't remember their names or faces, he knew they'd existed and his heart had the scars to prove it. He'd thought he was doing just fine and dandy until the Scot had come into his life, what had started as an attraction molding into something else just as warm, though God knew he still burned to touch her, to mark her and make her his.

It was the conflicting emotions he felt for her that kept him from moving, from acting on what the animal in him was more than ready for. She'd made it abundantly clear that she wouldn't shy away from that part of him, if anything she wanted it just as much as he did. Every time he kissed her or just touched her he could smell it, smell the need on her, knew she was burning just as badly.

Part of him told him to stay away from her but he found himself seeking her out. Like tonight, when he found her in the adults' rec room playing some bloody and violent video game by herself, cursing at the screen and into her headset in between crowing in triumph when a particular move got her what she wanted. 

He could hear voices from her headset, all male, mostly young, one in particular telling Teva to “suck my dick” when she took him out with a sniper rifle. 

“Darling, your balls have’nae dropped yet, your dick cannae be all that impressive,” was her quick reply. "Stop spawn camping, pissant." Laughter and more harassment followed, this time piling on the one who’d singled her out. 

Logan leaned up against the door frame and watched her acting very much like the twenty-something that she was, miles away from whatever age he was; he didn't remember being born, or having a childhood, or anything clearly until he'd escaped Weapon X, and it was only an estimate that he was in his 20s at least that point. Teva wouldn't have been born until the early '80s which put her at least 30 years younger than he was, except he didn't look like he was past his 40s even now. Any way one chose to look at it, he was old enough to be her father and then some. 

"You think verrae loudly, Logan," Teva called over her shoulder without looking away from her game. It was only half-true, she apparently found it easier to read him now that they had this tentative mind link. "Do you think I really care how old you are?"

"Maybe I care," he said, finally coming into the room. "Ya ever think o' that?"

She snorted, eyes still on the screen. "I think you just like being a dirty old man, honestly."

"That ain't funny, Tev."

That got a reaction out of her that made her look at him, long enough that her character died but she didn't seem to care. She set her controller down after backing out into the lobby and then muted the TV, her headset coming off last. "Logan, what's going on?"

He scrubbed a hand over his hair and sighed, flopping down on the couch next to her. "I'm just bein' maudlin, babe. Ignore me or I'll drag ya down into purgatory with me."

She shifted, getting her legs under her so that she was kneeling, facing him. "I did'nae really mean the 'dirty old man' comment. Does it really bother you all that much, the age thing?" She cocked her head to the side. "'Cause you really dinnae look older than 40 or so, and that's only about 15 years difference."

"Except I remember lookin' about the same back in 1970, even if I don't remember a damn thing else."

Teva moved closer, shifting again so that her thigh pressed up against his, her head resting on his shoulder as she held onto his arm. He felt better when she touched him, she soothed some part of him he hadn't realized needed it. "I guess I did'nae look at your reluctance from that angle, that maybe you're, I dunno, creeped out by it or something."

He lifted his head from the back of the couch to look at her. "If anything I figured you'd be more weirded out by it. I mean, I was already an adult when ya were a baby, I remember shit ya probably only saw on TV growin' up." He leaned his head against hers, touched her hands where they were wrapped around his bicep. "Don't ya wanna be with a guy who watched the same cartoons on Saturday mornin', or who remembers goin' to high school?" Ultimately they didn't have a ton in common even if they did manage to keep finding things to talk about.

"Considering I'll likely never go back home, there are'nae a lot of guys who watched the same cartoons I did, or who'd even understand what A-levels are." Her thumbs rubbed against his flannel shirt. "You assume I had a ton of friends growing up and I just did'nae, I enjoyed being on my own much more. I invented stories and songs and had a hell of a time with it, I always felt ... sort of out of place around kids my own age."

She paused for a long moment, long enough he asked if she was okay.

"Aye, just ... my mother, we did'nae get along, y'ken? Not just in the normal way of mothers and daughters, she was severely mentally ill and my da enabled her, let her do what she wanted. By the time I began to realize it was'nae my fault, I was also old enough to realize I was on my own." She hugged his arm tighter, sighing quietly. "She was abusive even when she was'nae laying a hand on me, and nothing was ever done right. She was terrified that if I did something wrong that Da would leave her. She threatened to kill herself almost weekly over the fact that she was'nae pretty enough or whatever her latest obsession was, she was paranoid, threw temper tantrums to put a wee bairn to shame, and somehow it was all my fault."

"Ya know it wasn't," he said, offering comfort.

Teva laughed softly, bitterly. "Oh, aye, I realized that by the time I was eight. I think it was about that time I started making excuses for her and trying to limit my exposure to other kids who might think there was something wrong with me because my mum was crazy. I mean, did I really want to have friends over when chances were she'd be pissed at three in the afternoon?" She shook her head. "No, I took my chances with my own imagination. I pushed myself in school even though there was no one at home to be proud of me. I wrote music to escape." There was another laugh, this one rueful. "Ironic, I guess, that my X gene manifested as the ability to sense and project emotions, when all I'd wanted from my mum was just one real feeling."

Logan didn't know what to say to that so he just kissed the top of her head before resting his cheek against her again.

"I'm right there with ye on the maudlin, Logan. Maybe I cannae remember the Cold War but age does'nae seem to be the only criteria for who gets the shit end of the stick." She turned her head slightly so that she could look at him. "And then I could pose ye the same question ye asked me: do ye no wish to have a woman who shares similar life experiences? I'm only 25 and I'm sure you've done and seen things, gone places I could'nae even dream of, yet here ye are, cuddling up to a woman who's but a babe in arms compared to ye."

He didn't want to look at her so he turned his head, looking off somewhere to the right side of the room. "Seen a lot o' ugly shit, lost a lot of friends, an' sometimes ... sometimes I think I want someone who's gonna be able to show me that there's more to life than pain and death." That's what Mariko had been for him, in a lot of ways. He breathed out, the confession bringing its own kind of pain. "Someone innocent."

He felt her go stiff in surprise and then she was touching his face, directing his eyes back to hers.

"Ye really believe that? That I'm innocent?"

"All relative, darlin'. I look at ya and for all ya been through, ya got a light in ya I think maybe I can touch." His voice dropped to a near-whisper. "A light that ain't gonna burn me up if I get too close."

"Oh, _mo dubh_." He didn't understand the words but he understood the sentiment, the tears that made her eyes shiny as she leaned in and kissed him gently. "I'll let ye huddle around me, aye?"

His answer was to kiss her again, pulling her closer because now he needed to touch her, the differences didn't matter when she was near. He felt her climb into his lap, straddling his legs and he didn't protest, he wanted her there, didn't want to let her go.

She nipped at his lip, this time she was the one to demand entrance and he gave it, groaning when her tongue slipped inside and she kissed him like she'd eat him from the mouth downwards. He liked it when she got aggressive, her hands sinking into his hair and tugging, giving her leverage to keep control of the kiss.

Logan's hands dropped to her hips, gripping her so that he could control the movement there where she rubbed herself restlessly against him, seeking relief from the ache building. He could feel it in his own body, the need to take this further, and quick as thought he moved so that she was lying on her back on the couch. A moan escaped him when she hooked her legs around his waist, still able to keep the friction going. His heavy body kept her pinned, his hand coming up to catch both of hers and hold them over her head. It made her back and neck arch and he took the opportunity to bury his face against her neck, lick along the big pulse in her neck that thudded. He heard her breath catch and growled in approval when she lifted her chin without thought to give him better access, his teeth briefly closing over her throat in a completely dominant gesture. He could smell her arousal, a hazy scent mixing with the rest of the smells he associated with her to make him go blind with need.

Then a scent that shouldn't be there invaded his senses, the obnoxious cologne of the leader of the X-Men, and it was a mark of how far gone Logan was that he hadn't noticed the other man's presence sooner.

Scott stood in front of the TV, arms crossed over his chest with a very obvious glare on his face. Logan raised his head and growled at him.

"I guess I should just be glad you kept this in the adults' rec room and didn't do it upstairs. I trust I'm not interrupting something that couldn't better be dealt with in the privacy of one of your rooms?"

Teva was pushing against Logan's chest, her legs having released him the instant she heard Scott's voice. "Oh, hi, Scott," she said, her voice sounding strangled even as she grinned a little impishly at him. Logan moved off of her so she could sit up. "Did ye need something?"

A muscle in Scott's jaw twitched as he clenched his teeth. He sighed before answering. "I was coming to get Logan because we need to do some recon."

"Fer what?" Logan asked, not bothering to straighten his clothing. He put his arm around Teva and kept her close, pleased when she snuggled back into him and rested her head on his shoulder. She didn't seem too terribly embarrassed by being caught.

"Charles narrowed down the location of the lab the girl we rescued told him about. It's not pinpointed yet, there are a few places to check out, but I'd like to get it done if there are still other mutants there."

Scott paused as if considering something. "Teva, if you'd like to come along, I think that would be fine."

Logan growled again. "She ain't an X-Man, Scott." He felt Teva jab him in the ribs with a finger and looked at her. "Well, darlin', ya ain't. Don't wanna see ya get hurt."

"We're not planning on doing anything the X-Men would be required for, and even if we were, she could stay with the Blackbird. It's not like she'd be completely helpless, she is a telepath after all."

"Telempath, actually, but that's neither here nor there." Teva got to her feet, trying to pull Logan up with her. "C'mon, grumpy. Turn off the raincloud and let's go."

He grumbled but got up, still not entirely pleased with this turn of events. He'd learned to trust Scott and if the leader of the X-Men thought it would be safe, chances are it would be. But he'd also learned a long time ago to listen to his gut, and right now it was telling him this wasn't gonna end well.


	9. Chapter 9

The image Teva had in her head of what the Blackbird looked like wasn't terribly different from the reality, but it was a hell of a lot cooler than her imagination had made it. She'd seen her share of aircraft but nothing that looked like it packed serious heat, huge, black and sleek like some crouching predator. Scott noticed her admiring it as they came into the hangar and he grinned at her. 

"It's a modified SR-71 Blackbird, the military doesn't use them anymore now that they're outdated."

"That's considered outdated?"

Scott chuckled. "Not the way we've retrofitted her." He was clearly proud of the aircraft, his hand running along it when they went up the back hatch. "She's got Shi'ar technology that puts her light years, literally, past anything the military's got."

Teva frowned as she followed him, and she could hear Logan still muttering behind her. She thought he was speaking Japanese, something she hadn't known he could do. "Shi'ar? I don't think I've ever heard of them."

"Aliens." A female voice from up ahead spoke. "Like, real aliens, just not the little green men kind."

"Kitty Pryde, when the hell did ya get back?" Logan asked, moving past Teva. Scott had moved aside and she could see a pretty brunette girl not much younger than her sitting at the controls. "Hadn't heard ya were comin' home."

The girl turned and smiled. "I'd wanted it to be a surprise, Logan. I guess it worked." She rose and gave him a big hug which he returned. "Didja miss me?"

"Like a hole in the head," he teased. Teva had seen the change in him when he'd seen the girl, the affection and ease that had come into him, and she knew she hadn't been mistaken in thinking he had that in him. He'd shown her some of that but this was clearly an old friendship. "Hey, c'mere and meet Teva."

Kitty gave her a raised eyebrow as she looked between her and Logan, saw the way Logan was holding a hand out towards her. Teva stepped forward and gave Kitty a little wave.

"Scott mentioned we had a new resident," Kitty said, holding out her hand.

Teva shook it and wondered at the feeling of protectiveness towards Logan she got from the girl. It actually made her take a step away from him, not quite sure what was going on. "Uh, yeah, I've been here a few months now." She heard Logan make an amused noise before he pulled her back towards him, putting his arm around her shoulders, and now both she and Kitty were giving him a weird look for the uncommon display of affection.

"You got the 'Bird prepped for flight, Kitty?" Scott asked, breaking up the awkward moment.

"Aye-aye, Captain. She's ready to go."

Scott and Kitty settled down at the controls and Logan led Teva to one of the jump chairs, showing her how to strap herself in. He took the one next to her and she swiveled to look at him, let herself be distracted momentarily watching him get situated.

"What the hell was that about?" she asked quietly, gesturing towards Kitty. "She does'nae look as if she likes me verrae much and then you go and do something out of character."

He was smirking at her though she could see a tightness around his eyes. "She's a stubborn kid an' if she gets it in her head I'm doin' somethin' stupid, she won't hesitate to call me on it."

Teva chewed on her lower lip a moment. "'Something stupid' meaning what, us? _Is_ there an us?"

Logan frowned at her, crossing his arms over his chest. "Figured that was obvious, darlin'. Wouldn't have said the things I did back in the rec room otherwise."

She frowned back at him. Her left hand moved nervously, habitually running chords through her head in a decades-old habit. "I also distinctly remember you telling me a couple months ago that you did'nae want to 'fuck up the balance' between us. I ken we've been getting closer but ..." She scrubbed her hand over her face. "This is completely the wrong place to be having this discussion." She felt her stomach dip and made a displeased sound.

Logan held his hand out to her and she took it. "Hang on, yer gonna feel sick a moment." He squeezed her hand and she squeezed back through the nausea as the 'Bird hit cruising speed.

"Jesus Christ, that's awful." She shuddered and let go of him. "Never cared much for flying and I'm glad I've no had that experience before."

"I hate it, too. Even alien tech doesn't quite make it go away." He tapped a finger against her chair. "'Bout what ya said, we can leave it 'til we get back."

She looked at him for a long moment before nodding. "Why do I get the feeling it'll be you hunting me down to finish it instead of the other way around?"

He just bared his teeth at her and left her alone.

Teva swung her chair back to face the front, crossing her arms over her stomach because she was still feeling queasy. Even if they weren't going to talk about it now, she could definitely think about what was going on with Logan and how much it confused her. She still felt awful for establishing the mind link, shaky as it was, because it hadn't been something she'd asked about beforehand. She wanted to blame the whole situation on him because dammit he'd scrambled her brains and her body, managed to drag her heart into it too even after he'd said he was looking to keep things status quo. Some of it had been a little crush on her part, some kind of stupid hero worship she didn't understand, but she'd been fully prepared to just let the whole thing go once he'd made the line in the sand and said 'do not cross this.'

How the bloody hell was she supposed to take it, then, when he kissed her outside the diner, and then again after? She'd expected that they were going to end up on the floor of her bedroom the way they were going at it, she'd been a little afraid of the look he'd been giving her and what it meant, not just a coupling but a taking, a mating. The thought of giving in to that, of becoming his, sent need straight between her legs and she had to shift. She didn't dare look over at Logan because she knew she had his attention, wondering what she was thinking that made her smell like that.

And that was another thing she was a little freaked out by, the knowledge he could read her just as surely as she could read him. She didn't have any deep dark secrets the way he seemed to but that didn't mean she liked being an open book. She could tell him she wasn't interested and her body would give away the lie. She hated that because she wasn't the type for casual despite the life she'd led for the past six years. Sex meant more to her than two people scratching a mutual itch or whatever it was for people who did that sort of thing on a casual basis. Being with Logan would mean a hell of a lot more to her.

So what, were they a couple now? Were they dating? They hung out on a pretty regular basis, watching TV either upstairs with some of the kids or downstairs with some of the other adults, she'd played poker with him and some of his friends. They'd spent time alone, too, just not intentionally, enough for her to realize she'd fallen flat on her face for him. And now he was showing interest in more. Her stomach did a flip-flop that was made more unpleasant by the nausea from flying so she closed her eyes and ran songs through her head, chords and music and words to try and keep her mind occupied.

It was Logan's hand on her shoulder that brought her back. "We're gonna take a look around, you can stay here if ya want."

Teva stared up at him a moment, debating, before she unhooked the straps holding her in and stood a little shakily. She could tell from the look on his face that he didn't really want her to come, felt from him that he was worried about her getting hurt. "I'll be fine, Logan. I'll just stick with you."

"That's how I'd prefer it." He started walking, holding something in his hand over his shoulder. "Put this on, it's a communicator."

She took the small silver device, turning it over in her hands a moment to get how it worked before she slipped the small hook over her ear and got it situated. It was surprisingly secure and now she could hear Scott talking, discussing how best to tackle the place. Kitty piped up, mentioning she had a full schematic of the place along with heat signatures showing that the building was barely occupied.

"What's going on?" Teva asked, following Logan off the jet into inky black night. The moon was a waning crescent and her eyes slowly adjusted but she still stumbled on things she couldn't see.

Logan caught her before she faceplanted, kept her close to him as he said, "This is one of the places Chuck wanted us to check out. We're gonna take a look around, see what there is to see, and then we're gonna leave." He squeezed her arm. "Keep on my heels, I can see better 'n you can, you'll be able to figure out where to step."

She nodded and he let her go. She followed him closely, literally stepping where he did to avoid the numerous tree roots that stuck up almost invisibly in the dark. She trusted his keen vision to get her through and it did, a clearing finally appearing and revealing a small building. "That's it?" she said, more to herself than anything else.

"Most of it's underground," Logan said quietly. "They always are, makes it less conspicuous." There was a growling undertone to his voice as he drew her down into a crouch beside him, pressing a finger against her lips to keep her quiet.

Two guards appeared out of the darkness, stepping into the pool of light just outside the building. She couldn't hear them though Logan seemed to be able to. She was paying too much attention to their movements and Scott talking in her ear, still discussing something with Kitty.

Blinding pain hit her and physically knocked her back as a voice slammed past her shields, frightened and panicky. _~Please help!~_ said the voice, that of a young girl. _~Please don't leave us here.~_

Logan appeared over her and she realized she was flat on her back staring up at him and the sky. He tapped a finger against his temple and it took her a moment to understand was telling her to speak telepathically rather than out loud, and then it took a few more moments for her to shake off the pain.

_~There's a little girl in there, Logan. She's a telepath, she must have sensed me.~_ Teva sat up with help from him. _~She said "Please don't leave us here" so I'm assuming there are others.~_

_~Fuckin' hell. Can you patch Scott and Kitty in?~_

It was something she'd never done, something she'd never even thought about doing. Xavier had only worked with her on establishing one-on-one links. She tried to think of it like a conference call and reached out, seeking the minds of their companions. She felt their confusion, Scott catching on first, used to telepathic communication as he was, and he let Kitty know to let Teva in. Without their consent she'd never have gotten in.

_~What's going on?~_ Scott asked. 

_~Teva had a little girl contact her from inside. Sounds like there's more than one of 'em. How many bodies ya readin', Kitty?~_ Logan asked.  
 _  
~Twenty, mostly scattered. There are three very close together, all in one room, that must be the kids~_ Kitty replied. 

Teva felt a little ill between the link and the thought of little kids being trapped inside. _~We have to get them out. They ken that help is here, we cannae leave them.~_ She eased back up into a sitting position.

Logan gripped her arm and squeezed. _~Ya ain't trained, Teva, not like we are.~_

_~And if ye go in there without me do ye think the kids will go with ye? She contacted me for a reason, Logan, she's expecting me to come for her.~_

Kitty surprised Teva by sticking up for her. _~She's got a point, Logan. And after all, you remember when I first joined and stowed away on a mission? Wasn't I the one who saved all of you?~_

 __Logan was growling, both in her head and out of it. _~Fine. How ya wanna handle this, Cyclops?~_

It was the first time Teva had heard Scott's codename and she snickered to herself. _~Check your comm, Kitty transfered the schematic to you.~_

Logan slipped a small device not unlike a cellphone out of his pocket, opened it and held it so Teva could see it, too. He scrolled through a couple screens showing four floors underground and various blinking lights that Teva assumed were the occupants of the facility, and indeed she could see the three huddled together on the second level.

_~Wolverine, you take point going in. I'll take the rear, we'll keep the girls between us. No offense, Teva.~_

_~None taken. The most I can do at this point is give some of them a bad headache.~_

_~Any distraction is good. You and Logan can pick off the two outside while Shadowcat and I come around to join you. Everyone good?~_

_~What about once we get inside?~_ Teva asked. 

_~Just keep close, use your powers if you need to, get your hands on a weapon if you can. Your job will be to help us with the kids.~_


	10. Chapter 10

Teva's nerves were jangling, her body buzzing with fear and adrenaline and she thought she was going to lose everything she'd eaten that day. She shut off the link with the others but felt Logan still hanging on to it. 

_~Ya gonna be okay?~_ he asked. He buzzed, too, with anticipation and barely restrained predatory joy. He was looking forward to a fight. 

_~I'll be fine. I'll distract those two, you go ... do your thing.~_

He gave her a look but let it go, nodding sharply.

Teva concentrated on the two guards, transfered her own unease to them and she could feel it when they reacted, see it in the way they started looking around as if something was stalking them in the dark. They just didn't realize that something _was_ stalking them until it was too late.

Quicker than she could really see clearly Logan had taken them both out with deadly efficiency. She came closer and he stood up, claws flashing silver where they weren't coated in blood. Her eyes went a little wide in reaction.

"Sometimes I wish you'd figure out another way to do your job."

She nearly jumped out of her skin at Scott's voice behind her, full of disgust.

"When are ya gonna learn, Boy Scout, that this is what I do best?" Logan sneered at him. "Ya said the same thing the last time and the answer'll always be the same, so unwedge that pole up yer ass and let's do our damn job."

"I wish we had our uniforms," Kitty said. "No time, I know, but I'd feel better with some Kevlar right about now."

Teva couldn't disagree with her. Something, anything, would be better than street clothes.

"We done chattin'?" Logan asked. When the other three just looked at him, he retracted all claws but one on his right hand, slicing clean through the heavy lock on the door.

Things happened fast from there, quickly enough Teva almost didn't have time to be scared. As soon as they were inside an alarm started going off, high and piercing, and guards came running. She was rather in awe of how the three X-Men handled the situation, working together as they had been for years, though Logan took a much more hands-on, separate approach from the other two. He was a one-man killing machine and none could stand before him without dying in a rather painful and horrifying way. It was one thing to know what he was capable of and quite another to see it up close and personal, to actually see the blood and viscera he left on the floor.

Bullets hitting the wall behind her made her jerk and duck, looking around wildly to see who it was, where they were. She lashed out with her telepathy, her hand physically thrown forward as if she were actually tossing something. The guard twitched, hands going to his head, his gun still hanging from his armored vest where it was attached. She made a fist, visualized knocking him out, and he crumpled like a ragdoll, unconscious.

Hands grabbed her, one with a knife coming from behind her. Teva reacted on pure instinct, drove her elbow back up high, somehow knowing to avoid the body armor that would dampen the blow while going for something more painful. She felt the crunch of bone and cartilage, heard a grunt of pain as she whipped around when the hand on her loosened. This guard held one hand to his nose, blood dripping from between his fingers, but he still had the knife and his discomfort didn't appear to slow him down. He flipped the blade in his hand so that he held it underhanded and slashed at her.

Teva rocked back on her heels, ducking and weaving like a boxer, calling on her experience from bar brawls. She'd never been involved in one that wasn't just a simple fisticuff without weapons but the moves appeared to be the same. He punched out at her and struck a glancing blow to her shoulder, the blow slightly weighted with the hilt in his hand, and she felt her fingers tingle momentarily.

When the guard's momentum from the punch took him a little off-balance she grabbed him by the shoulders and brought her knee up into his groin and, when he was distracted by that excruciating pain, she more or less thumped him with her telepathy and knocked him out.

A gun from another guard skidded across the floor to rest against her foot and she bent, picking it up. She'd never handled one before, never had cause or need to. It was a bit bulky for her hands, some kind of machine gun but she assumed it was pretty much just point-and-shoot.

There was more gunfire and Logan roaring in pain. She spun to see him riding a guard to the ground, claws buried in the man's chest, another guard coming up behind him with a knife in his hand.

Before she had time to react, to shout a warning, Logan was up and on him, reaching for the man's head. He got it between his hands and gave it a vicious jerk. The guard fell bonelessly and Logan met her eyes, feral bloodlust apparent in them, the dark brown bled into something more bestial. His lips were drawn back in a snarl that bared his sharp incisors.

He shook himself before he crouched and started stripping the guard he'd just killed, getting the body armor off of his torso. He tossed it to Teva.

"It's Kevlar, put it on."

Teva was almost too stunned to do anything but comply, setting the gun down a moment to slip the armor over her head. Logan came closer and picked up the gun, checking it quickly. He handed it back to her. "Safety's here, it's a submachine gun." He pointed to another switch. "This'll take it between automatic and semi-automatic. Ya know the difference?"

"Yeah."

"It'll kick like a mule so make sure ya keep yer hands on it. Let's go."

She was starting to feel a little dizzy from the adrenaline rush but at least the guards seemed to have stopped coming. The foursome made it down the stairs to the second level without much incident but now there was shouting.

"Keep the subjects secure!" a man in a suit and lab coat was shouting. "Do not let them get past!"

Logan launched himself into the fray. The controlled bursts of Scott's optic beams joined in and Teva watched Kitty's graceful attacks as she phased and became solid depending on what was needed at the moment. She looked like a dancer moving from foe to foe.

Teva flattened herself against the wall with the gun in her hands, looking for a way through. She felt a brush against her mental shields and the little girl spoke again. _~We can hear you. We're in the room just across the way.~_

Her eyes rose and she saw the doorway made out of some shiny metal, a small barred window set high up. There was a clear path to it, the X-Men grappling with the guards on either side. Teva took a deep breath to steel herself and pushed away from the wall, running straight for the door.

A guard stepped out in front of her and she pulled the trigger on her gun at the same time he shot at her, a burst of bullets spraying between them and she found herself on her ass. Logan hadn't been kidding when he'd said it kicked hard. She'd been aiming for his chest but ended up getting his face because the gun kicked up more than anything else. Pain was screaming in her right arm as she stared in horror at what she'd done, too surprised to see what damage he'd done to her.

Hands touched her and she was almost too shocked to jerk back in fear but it was Logan crouching down beside her. "It's okay, Tev," he said. His voice sounded as if it was coming from very far away, her ears still ringing from gunfire in a closed room. "Yer hearin's gonna be messed up for a bit. Can ya stand?"

She nodded and let him help her up. He took the gun from her and she glanced around, saw the guards were all down. "The girls," she said a little dumbly. "Get the door, Logan."

There were three brunette girls in the room all huddled together, an older one protecting two younger ones. Three identical sets of blue eyes gazed at her in a mixture of fear and relief. "Thank God," the older one said, tears tracking down her face. "Thank God."

Teva knelt in front of them. "You're safe, _a leannan._ We'll take ye home." Taking care of others was much easier than dealing with her own problems at the moment. "Can ye walk?"

The girl nodded, gathering the little ones up. They all wore the same gray jumpsuits with numbers on the right breast. The two smaller ones had some kind of collar around their necks.

"Inhibitors," Kitty said, coming into the room. She touched each of the collars and they sparked before falling onto the floor, useless. "Keeps them from using their powers."

"They forgot to put mine back on when you showed up, they just shoved me back in the room," the older one said.

There was a tug on Teva's sleeve and she looked over to find one of the younger girls, obviously twins, staring at her with outstretched arms. She gathered her in and picked her up, her right arm protesting severely but still she ignored it as the brunette head buried itself in her shoulder.

"Someone engaged a self-destruct program," Scott said, his voice hurried. The room shook as if in affirmation of this, a low rumbling coming from deeper in the complex.

"Shit!" Logan started herding them out. "We gotta go!"

They were on the stairs up when the building shook again, harder, almost knocking them off. Teva ran with the girl in her arms, knew Kitty had the other. She slipped and almost fell in blood on the ground, Scott catching her as he led them out. Her heart was pounding, her lungs burning and now the dizziness of adrenaline was mixing with that of hyperventilation.

She heard the older girl cry out and turned to see what was wrong. What she saw was Logan helping her and a wave of fire coming up the stairwell. Logan picked the girl up and ran with her, yelling, "Goddammit, Tev, move!" He pushed her out the exit forcefully, flattening his body over them when another explosion rocked the building and knocked them down just feet from the door. Teva felt heat from the fire but the flames didn't touch her. She heard Logan groan in pain above her.

They all got back to the 'Bird somehow, everything a blur to Teva now as she came down off the adrenaline high and the fear and pain started creeping in again. It felt like someone had replaced the bone in her arm with molten lead and it was all she could do to help get the girls strapped in before they were taking off. She fell back into one of the seats with the force of the jet reaching cruising speed, her hands gripping the armrests, unable to do more than hold on.

She blinked and found Logan crouched in front of her, his fingers ripping the sleeve off of her shirt. He looked fine from the front but she could see that a good portion of his clothing was burned and gone in the back, pink new skin forming where the old had sloughed off. Blood dripped down her arm and she had a sudden memory of the guard firing on her, the wound on her arm giving testament to the fact he'd hit more than just the body armor.

"Is it ...?

Logan dumped water from a bottle onto the scrap of fabric from her shirt and used it to clean off some of the blood. "Through-and-through, it might've hit the bone. Gonna have to get it cleaned up, it's gonna hurt."

Teva nodded. "Do it."

He cracked open a first aid kit and dug inside, coming up with a bottle of antiseptic which he poured onto some sterile gauze. He gripped her arm just above the elbow, below the wound, his fingers digging in to keep her from moving. The antiseptic burned almost as badly as the wound. She bit her lip to keep from crying out though tears appeared in her eyes, sliding down her cheeks in reaction. She could feel his hands shaking, could feel the fear in him that she'd gotten hurt.

He took out more gauze, these coated with some kind of protective ointment, placing them over both wounds before he taped over them.

"I'm okay," she said softly when he remained crouched in front of her, his hand still holding her arm. His eyes flicked to hers and she saw the fear mixed with anger. She knew it was because she'd gotten hurt and he hadn't been able to prevent it. "I'm fine. Are you?"

He nodded. "Healed already," he said abruptly, waving away his own injuries. "Shouldn't have let ya go in there."

"Was'nae your choice, Logan, it was mine." She leaned her head back against the seat. "I can deal with a wound but ... I killed that guard. And I did'nae even hesitate."

"He'd have killed you if he'd had the chance." He reached up and touched her face. "I'm sorry ya had to do that, Teva. I regret that ya had to make that choice."

She leaned into his touch, lifted her hand to keep his where it was. "I could'nae leave the girls there, I could'nae just sit here while the three of ye went in." She laughed, more an exhaling of breath than in humor. "And God help me I'd do it again if it meant I was doing something good, if it meant helping others like us."

"S'what bein' a superhero's all about. I don't want ya doin' it again but ya wouldn't be the woman I'm fallin' for if ya backed away from it." His thumb stroked along her cheekbone. "I scared ya back there, didn't I?"

Teva nodded, chewing on the inside of her lip. When his eyes dropped from hers she touched his chin, made him look back up. "I dinnae completely understand what part of yourself ye gave up to be able to do what ye do, but part of me does get it, a little." She leaned forward, placing her hands on either side of his neck as she kissed his forehead. "I did'nae quite realize how deep the animal runs in ye, and I dinnae care. I will'nae back away, I dinnae _want_ to back away." She touched his chin again and tipped his face up towards hers so that she could kiss him.

She felt the tension of fear leave him in a shudder, felt the need in his mouth on hers and suddenly she wished they were safe at home.

"Me too, baby," he said, chuckling softly. She realized she'd spoken to him telepathically. "Ya gotta get checked out first." He let her go and took the seat beside her. "Then we'll talk."  



	11. Chapter 11

Jean had offered Teva a sedative along with the painkillers. She'd turned it down, not wanting to give up that much of her lucidity. Xavier came down to check on her and their newest residents.

The three girls had apparently decided that Teva was their savior, if the way they gathered around her was any indication. They'd been wary of anyone else until she'd told them it was okay.

The eldest was Rosie, an eleven-year-old telepath with telekinesis who had manifested recently. She'd been kidnapped off the street on her way home from school. She was unsure how her abductors had even know she was a mutant and they'd never revealed the reason. They'd effectively tortured her to find out she had younger twin sisters. The man hurting her had been very excited to find this out and began talking about testing them, too, seeing just how much of the X gene was hereditary. One day she'd woken up to find her sisters there and she hated herself for giving up that information.

The man had forced them to manifest, Rosie wasn't sure how. Sara and Cara were six years old and telepaths, too, and they spoke very little, choosing to communicate almost exclusively through telepathy or mere gestures. They seemed to have regressed because of what had been done to them to trigger their mutations.

Teva found herself in tears once she'd been released. The girls had been sedated so that they could rest more easily, though they fought it until Teva promised she'd come see them later. The thought of what had been done to them made her angry, rage boiling up inside and she knew for once how Logan felt, at least partially.

She'd promised him, too, that she'd come see him after, but she needed a shower first. Her clothing ended up in the trashcan, either ripped or blood soaked and beyond saving. She let the hot water run over her and had some difficulty in getting her hair washed, her right arm all but useless and her body reacting oddly with the painkiller in her system.

Finally she dressed again in yoga pants and a tank top, her hair back in a braid to keep it out of her face while it dried completely. Her heart started doing a jig when she stood outside Logan's door, her hand on the doorknob as she tried to get her breathing back under control. His words from the jet about falling for her were echoing in her head, along with everything else he'd said what seemed so long ago now.

 _Stop being a numpty_ , she told herself. Still, her hand shook as she opened the door. She found Logan sitting on his bed looking down at his hands, the fingers of one rubbing against the places where the claws came out. He was wearing faded jeans with more than a few holes in them and his hair looked darker, wet from a shower.

"Hey," she said from the doorway, waiting for him to look up.

His eyes met hers and she felt her breath catch as a smile slid into his eyes before it curled the corner of his mouth. "Hey," he said back, his hands dropping to his sides. "How are the girls?"

Teva closed the door and crossed the room on bare feet, sitting down on the edge of the bed next to him. "Jean sedated them, they're ... God, Logan, the things they did to those little girls ..." She folded in against him when he put his arm around her.

"I never get over seein' kids in places like that. Doesn't happen often but even once is too much." He touched the row of earrings marching up her right ear. "You were scared back there, but ya were so damn brave for 'em."

"Someone had to be," she replied. "They'll be happy here."

"Are _you_ happy here?"

The question took her by surprise. She pulled away a little but took his hand so she could keep touching him. "I was'nae, at first," she finally said. "I was'nae sure I'd fit in, that this place would be the safe haven I needed to leave my past behind. I did'nae think I'd be here more than a few weeks, maybe long enough to deal with my powers. I did'nae think I'd end up feeling like I belong here." She touched his face, her palm tickled by his muttonchops rough against her skin. "I'm happy here. I'm happy with you."

"Ya got no idea how much it means to hear ya say that, darlin'."

"I do, a little. Ye fought against me, against what I thought ye felt for me. I did'nae understand that."

"I'd convinced myself I didn't need anyone, didn't need to get involved." He looked down, away. "Last time I let my heart tell me what it wanted, it ended real badly. Don't want that to happen again."

Teva could feel the pain from him, the heartache, but she could also feel what he hadn't allowed himself to feel in a very long time. "Ye did'nae want to fall in love with me." He shook his head. "I did'nae expect to fall in love with you, either."

Logan breathed out and she could sense the relief in him. His hand came up to cup her face, his thumb stroking along her cheekbone before he leaned in towards her. She shuddered as their lips met and their mouths fused together, gentle at first before need hit them both and their minds came that much closer to merging.

Teva heard his groan of surrender. They both knew this was it, that there was a choice to be made to complete this or let it break. Their eyes met, darkest brown and golden, and everything that she felt for him was reflected back. 

"I need ya," he whispered, his voice rough as he clutched the back of her shirt. "The more I need ya the more I want ya." He kissed across her jaw until his mouth was next to her ear, his warm breath making her break out in gooseflesh. "An' the more I want ya, the more I have to keep touchin' ya."

"Then touch me, dammit," she said, eliciting a rough, deep laugh from him. "I think I might die if ye dinnae."

His hand splayed out between her shoulder blades, supporting her as his mouth worked lower until he had her laid out on the bed. He nibbled along her stomach, lifting her shirt a bit at a time, teasing her. When his tongue brushed the underside of her breasts she moaned softly, reveling in the feeling of his hot breath on her skin. She wriggled to get her top off and wasn't entirely prepared for the look that came into his eyes when her breasts were bared to him.

Teva pulled him towards her, needing to kiss him, to taste him. His body was heavy over hers, pushing her into the mattress almost to the point of making it hard to breathe but she didn't care. Her hands roamed his back, felt the play of his muscles beneath his skin that showed just how strong he was.

He left her mouth again, skimming across her jaw and then down her neck where he nipped at her skin, the pulse there that beat fast. "Ah, god," she breathed out when he set his teeth in her left shoulder, a soft sound of pain escaping her. "Please," she begged, not quite sure if she was asking him to stop or keep going.

"What do ya want?" he asked, a growl against her skin. His tongue darted out to soothe where he'd bitten. "Tell me, baby."

"Mark me," she whispered. "Please, Logan. I dinnae care if ye draw blood, I want--"

Logan bit down again and she cried out as she felt him break the skin, pain flaring but he let go almost immediately to lick at the wound. He growled low in his chest, a happy, satisfied sound. He kissed her again and she could taste her own blood in his mouth, feel the pleasure it gave him, before he moved down to her breasts. His tongue flicked out over one pinkish-brown tip, dragging a whimper from her as he took it in his mouth and suckled.

Her hands sank into his damp hair, her fingers curling in it against the pleasure floating through her. He used one hand to cup her other breast, his thumb rubbing alongside the nipple, and then it slid down her stomach under her pants to touch the center of her.

"Yer so wet, baby," he said, his eyes rolling to look up at her. "For me."

"No shit," she said, a little exasperated. She was struggling to hold on to their mind link, to keep it from snapping into place fully, still a little afraid of it.

He pinched one of her lips and chuckled when she gasped and her fingers tightened in his hair. "No need to get smart." He got his arms around her and rolled them both, feeding from her mouth again like he'd crawl inside and stay there. Even in that she could feel the power of him, the strength of his body.

Her legs straddled his hips which brought her right down on his erection, and she couldn't stop herself from rubbing against him, dragging a groan from him. His hands slid to cup her ass and keep her in place, craving the friction and the heat they both wanted.

Teva broke the kiss, breathing hard. When one of his rough hands reached up to tweak a nipple her body jerked, sensation washing down between her legs and making her throb. It was almost too much for her to handle.

"I need ye," she said, nipping at his lower lip and sucking on it. "I think I'm going to burn up if I dinnae have ye inside me soon."

His response was a growl as he crushed her to him, bruising her lips and making her moan against him. She could feel his fingers digging into her hips, his own rising off the bed now in response to her movement.

She pushed away from him, rolling off the bed long enough to get her pants off and then find herself pushed up against the wall with nothing between their bodies. He was rough, demanding, his head bent to capture her breast in his mouth as his hands slid low again to touch her core.

He threw back his head when she cupped him in her hand, the growl coming from his chest not entirely human. It sent need licking up her spine and emboldened her to stroke him, anticipating having that hot thickness pressed deep inside of her.

Teva had but a second to get her arms around his shoulders as he hauled her up, her legs around his waist and the length of him pressed between them. "Logan, please," she begged. He pumped his hips against her but didn't enter her. "Goddammit, I cannae hold on much longer."

"Hold on to what?" he asked, his voice gone growling deep, almost unintelligible.

She panted, eyes shut tight. "The link, I cannae ... it is'nae complete and I dinnae know if I can keep it like this."

"Don't." He kissed her, strangely gentle. "Look at me, baby. Let it go, let it fall. I wanna be inside ya all the way."

Her eyes had opened and she stared at him for a long moment, saw in his eyes the truth of his words. She gave a small, frantic nod of understanding, her breath coming out in one long exhale. She felt him lift her hips a fraction and then he was sliding inside of her, stretching her almost to the point of pain, and she lost her grip, and it really did feel like she was falling.

The link snapped into place, whole now as their bodies were. "Mine," he growled, his lips against her throat.

Her mouth opened in a cry that he captured with a kiss, his body pinning hers to the wall. She wanted to sob against the pleasure, the incredible rightness of being merged body and mind. She felt the same from him, both the animal and the man inside of him in perfect agreement for once.

Logan raised his head to look at her, lock eyes with her as he withdrew and then thrust back inside, wanting to see her reactions as he set the rhythm, the pace. He was relentless, his hips pushing him farther and farther into her until he was bumping the end of her.

Teva was so far gone that her pain and pleasure centers were confused, she didn't even hurt anymore. Her short, blunt fingernails dug in hard enough to draw blood from his shoulders as she fought to thrust back, fought to get closer, one hand clenched in his hair as she held him to her, kissing him deep. She was no longer able to hold herself up, trusting him to keep her there.

His pubic bone hit her just the right way with each thrust and she twisted her hips each time they met to get the friction she needed. She whimpered every time, feeling the orgasm building inside of her, threatening to consume her as the pleasure from both of them cycled back and forth over the link until she wasn't sure where it came from, she just knew she felt like she was going to burn up. She could feel his own impending end in the way his thrusts became uneven, the way his breathing grew ragged against her ear.

She went up and over the edge, her head thudding back against the wall as she cried out, his name on her lips as she fragmented. Logan growled, his head against her shoulder as he came, his hands tightening on her hips for a moment as he emptied himself within her.

They slid down the wall together, sweat-slicked legs and arms tangling, hearts pounding. Several minutes passed before either one stirred.

"Jesus Christ," Teva finally said, her head resting against his shoulder as her body twitched periodically. "I think I may have died there for a minute." She smacked his arm when he chuckled at her, completely arrogant. "Shut your mouth, Logan."

"Let's get ya into bed, darlin'." He lifted her easily, kept her from collapsing when her knees tried to buckle. "C'mon, sweetheart, easy does it." He laid her down, crawling over her before he pulled the covers up over the both of them. "Ya doin' okay? How's yer arm?"

"Hurts a bit," she said, burrowing in against his side. "Shit, I have painkillers but they're in my room." She protested when he tried to disengage.

He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Yer comin' down off the endorphins an' I can feel how much pain yer in. Stay here an' I'll go get yer pills."

"They're on the dresser," she called after him, eyes still closed. She didn't want to move, caught somewhere between bliss and hell now that what Jean had given her earlier was wearing off. Her arm throbbed painfully, as did her shoulder and she touched the latter, her fingers coming away with blood. Seeing that almost made it hurt worse.

Logan came back in, still naked. He tossed the pills at her as he ducked into the bathroom, coming back out with a glass of water and a wet washcloth. "Sit up an' lemme see yer shoulder." He helped her, using her left arm to get her up.

She whimpered a little but made it, fumbling with the pill bottle before she got it open and shook out two pills, downing them with the water.

"Ya okay?" he asked as he dabbed at the bite marks on her shoulder. "I didn't hurt ya too bad, did I?"

"Asked ye to," she said, leaning against him. "Did'nae mind. I liked it."

He laughed softly. "I noticed, but now it hurts like a bitch. I've been bitten before, it's not pleasant."

"Ye just have'nae been bitten by the right people," she said. "And ye cannae complain as ye have that nifty healing factor to patch ye right up again."

"Yeah, I do, but that doesn't mean shit don't hurt. It heals me, it doesn't make the pain disappear." He tipped her chin up so he could look at her. "I don't remember what it's like to feel drugged, though, an' yer headed down that rabbit hole nice an' fast."

Teva nodded. "Nice hole but no bunnies. I think the snake ate them all."

Logan snorted. "Yer high, baby. Lay down again, I'm done with yer shoulder." He eased her back down, discarded the cloth in the hamper, then climbed back into bed with her. "C'mere."

She snuggled into him again, lying on her left side with his arm curved around her back. "A wee bit high." She giggled. "Okay, a lot high. Does'nae do much for the pain besides make me not care so much."

"I think that's kinda the point. Ya gonna hush sometime soon?"

"Busy snuggling. You're like a big hairy teddy bear." She giggled again, rubbing her cheek on his chest like a cat. "My big hairy teddy bear."

"No way in hell you'd say that if ya were sober."

Teva lifted her head and looked at him, one eyebrow raised. "The hell I would'nae."

He scrubbed a hand over his face and stared at her in exasperation. "Could ya turn off the link, babe? Yer startin' to make me feel loopy, too."

"Hmmm? Oh, sorry, I've no done this sort of thing before." It took a moment's concentration as she shut the door, so to speak, and while she could still feel him it was more like a lingering scent than having him right there with her. "Better?"

"Much."

"Are ye okay with this?" she asked. "With the link, I mean, with me being in your head."

Logan was silent a long moment and she tried very hard not to pry. His hand stroked along her shoulder, careful to avoid the wound on her arm. "I'm okay with it, Teva. It's a little weird but I'll get used to it."

"I was just ... mmmm, I'm no sure how to say it." She lay her hand flat on his chest, over his heart, the springy hairs there tickling her palm. "I ken people sometimes say things they dinnae mean in the heat of the moment."

She felt him take a breath in. "An' ya think that's what happened, when I told ya to merge the link."

Teva nodded, finding it difficult to keeping her eyes open. The painkillers were definitely doing their job.

"I meant it, Teva. All of it, even the things I didn't say."

"Ah." She let her eyes close. "I can feel it." It was warm and cozy, that feeling, like a favorite blanket in front of the fire after coming in out of the cold.

She could feel him drowsing, too, happy and sated, glad she was safe and in his arms.

 _"Tha gaol agam ort,"_ she said quietly.

He was quiet for long enough she figured he hadn't understood her, but then he said, "Love ya, too, Tev."


	12. Chapter 12

Logan woke to sunlight slanting over the bed through the window. He'd forgotten to close the curtains but found he didn't much care, not when he rolled onto his side from his stomach and found Teva asleep in his bed, curled into a fetal position facing him. They'd separated at some point during the night, though he remembered her repeatedly reaching for him. At one point they'd made love again and she'd proven him wrong: he _did_ have it in him to be gentle, to hold her close and not have the animal want to take over. It had been slow and lazy and almost better than the first time. 

He felt her coming up out of sleep a short time later, her arms stretching out towards him and when her fingers touched him her eyes opened. "Mornin'."

"Mmmm."

"Don't go all pre-verbal on me, darlin'. How're ya feelin'?" He wanted to make sure she was okay, that there were no ill effects from the night before, either from the fight or from him.

"Mmmm," she said again. Her hands came up to rub at her eyes. "I think you scrambled my brains, Logan."

He couldn't help grinning at her. "Just doin' my job, babe."

Her hands lowered and she looked at him balefully. "You certainly are an arrogant wee bastard."

He responded by touching her, dragging his fingers up her leg before squeezing her thigh, and it got the reaction he'd been looking for. Her whole body shuddered. "Any reason I shouldn't be?"

Teva stuck her tongue out at him, squealing when he pounced and caught her lower lip between his teeth. He'd been going for her tongue but she'd pulled it back in before he could get to it. "Ah, no more, Logan, I'm sore as hell," she said when he freed her lip. "Two times in one night after a verrae long dry spell is more than I can handle right now, especially from one so well endowed as you."

He grinned at her again. "Didn't seem like you were complainin' about that last night."

"Aye, well, I was high on sex and painkillers last night so of course I was'nae complaining." She shoved him away. "Now? I'm complaining." She tried to sit up and hissed in pain when her right arm didn't want to cooperate and she fell back again. "Son of a bitch," she cursed. She struggled back up with just her left arm.

"Take it easy," he told her. "What'd Jean tell ya about the bullet wound, anyway?"

"She said it bruised the bone, and that you did a good job cleaning it before we got home. She did some more and stitched me up as well." She was holding her hand over the bandages, eyes tight with pain. "It'll take a while to heal but she said it would'nae be a problem."

Her stomach growled and she glanced down at it. "God, I dinnae even want to think about food."

Logan touched her shoulder. "Ya need to eat, babe. Get some clothes on and we'll go up and get somethin'." He got up to do the same, grabbing his jeans off the floor and putting them on.

She complied, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. She got up and found her pants, struggled into them, and then she found her shirt. "Uh, Logan?" She held it up. "You ripped it."

He finished pulling a t-shirt on. "Oh, sorry." He grabbed the flannel shirt that was lying on the back of his desk chair. "Here, wear this."

She took it and got it on with only a little trouble. "Would you mind coming with me? I get the feeling I'm going to do more damage trying to dress myself."

Together they got her to her room and dressed again. She put his shirt back on and put one of the painkillers in the breast pocket.

"Little big through the shoulders, don'tcha think?"

She shrugged. "It smells like you."

He pulled her close and kissed her forehead. "Good enough for me. Let's go get ya some food."

The dining room was relatively quiet when they came upstairs, a large majority of the kids already off to classes on a weekday morning. Xavier, Kitty, and Jean sat at the staff table and they all smiled and greeted the couple. If anyone thought it strange that Teva was wearing his shirt they didn't say anything. He left her there to get them both food so she wouldn't have to struggle to balance the tray.

"I'm glad to see that there was no lasting damage to your arm," Xavier was saying when he returned. "That was a rather nasty wound."

"I got lucky, there were a lot of bullets stuck in the body armor." Ten, to be exact, Logan had counted. The rest had gone wide. "And lucky that Logan was there to patch me up."

Jean smiled at her and Logan, who'd returned. "He's had more than enough training as a field medic since he heals everything. He gets to take care of the rest of us when we need it."

"I did want to ask you, Teva, if you'd be willing to consider helping in tutoring Rosie and her sisters. They have all been out of school for quite a while and will need some help getting back up to speed."

"I -- what?" Teva started, a bite of sausage halfway to her mouth. "What on earth for, Charles? I'm no qualified to do something like that, I dinnae have any training to be a teacher --"

"I think ya could do it." Logan hadn't quite realized he'd spoken until the words came out.

Teva's head turned to look at him, eyes wide. "You have more faith in me than I do, that's for damn sure." She turned back to Xavier. "Why do you think I can do this?"

Xavier's head tilted to the side. "First and foremost, those girls already have a bond with you." He held up a hand to forestall her protest. "And yes, I understand that it's not enough, but you have a natural talent for putting people at ease, and for putting things into terms that are easy to understand. Your empathy makes you uniquely qualified."

Teva's hand reached for Logan's under the table, a silent request for support that he freely gave.

The Professor picked up his napkin and dabbed at the corner of his mouth. "You won't be the only one teaching them; I wouldn't expect you to try to teach them something you don't understand, but I know how intelligent you are. And I know that you're more than capable of teaching them things that aren't strictly academic, which is what they need at this point in time. They need someone who can help them deal with the emotions that they are feeling right now."

He let it hang there, giving her time to think.

_~Ya okay, babe? He's got a point.~_

_~This is bloody insane, Logan~_ she thought back at him. _~I did'nae go to university.~_

Logan squeezed her hand in his. _~Neither did I but I ended up teaching. Hell, at least you remember bein' in school, I don't. I don't remember what that's like.~_

He knew she wanted to say yes even with the fear she felt, the uncertainty. The potential that Xavier saw in her was clear, it was a piece of that innocence that Logan saw, the girls needed someone they could relate to. He felt her faltering, ready to say no because she doubted herself.

_~I've got faith in ya, Teva.~_

She looked up at him then, biting her lip, and then she turned to Xavier. "I'll do it," she said. "God knows how, but I'll try, I'll do my best."

Xavier smiled. "Excellent. I think you can begin this afternoon by helping them get situated into rooms and showing them around the mansion."

"That's an easy first assignment," Teva replied. "At least I dinnae get lost around here anymore." She squeezed Logan's hand again and let it go. _~I dinnae get lost because I've got you.~_

_~Damned glad I found ya then, darlin'.~  
_

  



End file.
